Parade: Prof. Ellen DeVoe Helps Parents Talk to Their Kids About School Shootings
As the number of school shootings per year continues to rise, parents may find it increasingly difficult to discuss the issue with their children. While there is no perfect script, trauma expert Prof. Ellen DeVoe offered guidelines to help parents feel better prepared for these conversations in a recent interview with Parade.
Excerpt from “How to Talk to Your Kids About School Shootings” by Ashley Lauretta, originally published in Parade:
In fact, when starting the conversation, nationally-recognized trauma expert Ellen DeVoe, MSW, PhD, professor at Boston University’s School of Social Work, notes that you will want to consider your child’s developmental capabilities and personality, instead of just their numerical age. Even with young children, she stresses telling the truth is key.
‘If [your] child asks you, “Did people die?” [it is important] that you tell the truth,’ DeVoe stresses. ‘Not with a lot of graphic details, but because they will learn about it later and know they can trust their caregivers.’
Especially given the frequency of school shootings over the past few years, DeVoe recommends checking in with your kids on a regular basis—even just on the way to school—using language such as, ‘I am going to ask you about this again and see how you are doing,’ to help normalize discussing feelings, even about scary things.
‘You can say, “Tell me what you heard about this,” so you can clear up any misconceptions,’ DeVoe adds. This advice is especially important as inaccuracies and assumptions are easily spread on social media, and that may be your child’s main source of updates about each school shooting.