PARTISAN REVIEW
Melanie still hasn't come and I'm getting scared. When my
sister Michelle came today, I asked her to go look for Melanie and
bring her back. Michelle understood and didn't ask any questions.
She loves Melanie like a sister and really wants her to be my wife.
That sounds strange - Melanie, my wife - I wonder if maybe
we, well Journal, I love Melanie with all my heart, but I feel like
I'm getting weaker and weaker. My heart beat is slowing down and
I think maybe I'm dying.
May the eleventh
Last night I had
this
horrible dream. It was actually a night–
mare. When I woke up this morning I was sweating all over. I still
feel awful but I won't tell
this
dream to Melanie because she always
gets scared when I tell her my nightmares and relates them too
much to her. I still feel weak, like there's this soggy damp cloth
clinging to my brain and sloshing dirty water into my eyes. This
is
the dream:
Everyone in my family except me caught
this
very strange
disease. Their skin started turning from black to white. First slowly,
and then great blotches would tum sort of murky yellow then this
ashy grey color and then finally
this
ugly white. I didn't know what
to do. They made me sick to look at. Then everyone in the neigh–
borhood started yelling "Black ghettos for the blacks" and waving
knives and things. And then I didn't know what to do so I grabbed
this knife from a kitchen and stabbed everyone in my family - in–
cluding my Grandmother who's actually pretty Caucasian-looking to
begin with - and I stabbed my whole family in their backs very
slowly over and over again. And their blood flowed out and turned
black. Then their blood started coming out like black water faster
and faster and I drowned. Then I woke up and I was coughing.
When I told the Doctor about
it
he asked me if it reminded me
of anything. I thought and then I remembered once, when Melanie
and I decided to go to a Spanish restaurant and she ordered me
something but wouldn't tell me what it was. What they gave me
looked like meat or fish in some black sauce. After I'd eaten some
of
it
she started laughing and laughing. So I asked her well what
was
this
stuff anyway. And Melanie whispered, "It's squid cooked
in its own ink." And I got sick all over the table.
