CAROLE KOHAN 1M
Daniel I
just
told
this
white guy the truth. I said that
if
I gave up
now, I'd never be able to look at myself in a mirror again without
spitting, without hating myself."
I
pr~d
Melanie's fingers and she lowered her head and kissed
my hand. Then she looked up at me very intensely, but at the same
time very softly. When Melanie looks at me she
talks
with her eyes;
and
this
time her eyes were telling me of her great dreams for me
and my future. It was at this time that I first became conscious
of my power. It was then that I knew that God, speaking through
Melanie, had called upon me to lead my People out of bondage.
Melanie knew that I had understood and we pressed our fingers
together, pressing the knowledge into our
minds.
And then we toasted
to Freedom without moving our
lips
and drank our wine, the red
wine - we drank of the blood of those who had suffered Before
that I might come to save them Now.
May the fourth
Well, Journal, I have
just
told my Doctor all about what I
wrote to you yesterday.
As
soon as I finished talking, my Doctor
shook my hand and said "Brother." Then he told me about how
he's going to give
this
speech at a Black Power Conference in L.A.
and wishes I could come. I wish I could too. I'm actually pretty
tired of being here. I told my Doctor I feel fine and am all ready
to leave. He said he'd see what he could do.
Then later that day
this
Psychologist guy came to talk to me.
He was white and I think he's probably pretty hung up on sex.
There was something about him that I despised. He made me
sick
and I wouldn't talk to him.
When Melanie came she brought me this letter from my father.
I'll copy out
this
one paragraph from it to keep in the Journal.
Daniel, we -want you back in the house when you'll act like a man.
You're creating chaos
in
the family. When you decide to change
your ways, you can come back. Not until then.
I showed that part to Melanie and she didn't say anything at
fIrst.
Then she said well he's probably still mad about Francine and
Chico. Francine is my kid sister. She got married to
this
Puerto
Rican - Chico. I really admire Chico because he came up the
hard
