The end of residency means difficult goodbyes
by Anne Toledo, MD
“It is easy to see the beginnings of things, and harder to see the ends. I can remember now, with a clarity that makes the nerves in the back of my neck constrict, when New York began for me, but I cannot lay my finger upon the moment it ended.”
– Joan Didion, Goodbye To All That
So it feels at the end of residency. Of course, there is a graduation date. However, the emotional jolt of starting intern year contrasts with a nebulous crawling sensation at the end. Residency seems to taper in repetitive, small appreciations that each teaching moment may be the last.
First came the final shift on inpatient medicine. I stood at the threshold of 6 West hospital floor and marveled that the sense of foreboding three years ago had given way to familiarity and, though hospitals can be quite dangerous, safety. Goodbye, 6 West.
Then my last ER shift passed. The other senior and I traded laughs over mutual flight anxiety between seeing patients, and suddenly it was over. Goodbye ER.