232
JULES FEIFFER
COHN: For your information, you are not Joan of Arc.
JOAN: And my voices?
COHN: There are no voices.
FIRST VOICE: There are too!
COHN: There are not!
SECOND VOICE: Are too! Are too!
COHN: Are not! Are not!
FIRST AND SECOND VOICES: Are! Are! Are!
COHN: Not! Not! Not!
JOAN: Then whom are you arguing with?
COHN:
(calms down)
It's not an argument, just a discussion.
I
wish
you'd tell me how you do that.
JOAN: Have you never believed in anything?
COHN:
I
believe in me. After that there's room for doubt.
JOAN: But it's so lonely!
COHN: That's my problem.
JOAN: How can you bear it?
COHN:
If
you're strong, you can bear what's true.
If
you're weak,
you make up fairy tales.
JOAN: You think
I
make up fairy tales?
COHN: I'm not singling you out. Abe, my best friend . Him also.
He'd
go with you to see the Emperor. Not that he'd believe. He wouldn't
believe. But just in case. With Abe it's always just in case. He's
built an ethic out of "maybe," "who's to know," " just in case."
(in a rage)
He has no convictions!
No convictions!
I
much pre–
fer someone crazy like you who thinks she's Joan of Arc. That at
least is a position. So that's another reason.
I
have to stay in the
house to take care of Abe;
I
can't go with you to see the Emperor.
JOAN: We'll take him with us!
COHN: He's not here.
JOAN: Where is he?
COHN: That's the question. Vanished! Vanished to annoy me. You
watch, I'll pay him back good. We had an argument -
I
won't
bore you with the details - but it got around - who knows how?
- to wishes. Two grown men, an argument over wishes. Abe said
it's possible
I
had three,
I
said baloney. Abe said
I
couldn't know
unless
I
wished, so
I
wished Abe would stop bothering me and
vanish, and to make a long story short, in order to aggravate me,
he did.
