PARTISAN REVIEW
ABE: I didn't faint.
COHN: You fainted.
ABE: Never.
COHN: In the trunk.
ABE: In what trunk?
COHN: That trunk!
ABE: I never fainted in a trunk in my life.
COHN: Not five minutes ago!
ABE: Five minutes ago I was sitting in my chair like always.
239
COHN: Then how come you didn't see her come in? (ABE
lS
stopped.)
Because you fainted!
ABE: Because you sneaked her in here before! When I wasn't look–
ing!
COHN:
What
before?
ABE: Who knows, with a man as corrupt as you?! It could have been
years!
Who is she? Why is she wearing that armor?!
COHN: You're all excited. Calm down.
ABE: I don't like betrayal. I beg your pardon.
COHN: There's no betrayal.
ABE: Consorting with the outside.
COHN: No-
ABE: Spreading false rumors.
COHN: Abe, listen - calm now - what's the very last thing you
remember?
ABE: Your betrayal.
COHN:
(reasonably)
Abe,
I
fainted and
I
remember.
ABE: I never fainted in my life! I beg your pardon, but I have
never vomited, I have never fainted, and I have never gotten drunk.
Certain things I do not do. I have never done. So you and your
chippie, don't try to pull a fast one.
COHN:
(stares hard at him)
You were dead.
(to
JOAN) It's the only
explanation. He was dead.
ABE: I didn't faint so I must be dead. That's logic.
COHN: Not now, before.
ABE: How could I be dead before and alive now? That's consistency.
COHN: Wait a minute! Stop the presses! Is this myoId friend Abe
talking? The very Abe who believes in genies and three wishes and
that I could be Mozart and him Jefferson?
