Wellness Wednesday: Tips for Keeping Up Long-Distance Friendships
Wellness Wednesday: Tips for Keeping Up Long-Distance Friendships
We’re back for another installment of our “Wellness Wednesday” series. If you prefer to listen instead, find our podcast, called Wellness Wednesday, on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, and other podcast platforms.
Tips for Keeping Up Long-Distance Friendships
Hi, my name is Amy Laskowski and I’m a writer here at BU Today. This is another installment of our new weekly podcast, “2 Minutes of Wellness.”
Let’s get started.
You and your best friends from home are now separated, not by a few blocks, but by hundreds or maybe thousands of miles, for nine months out of the year. Holiday breaks are nice, and Facetime and Instagram help you stay connected. But how do you keep up a close friendship long-distance? And is it really that important to stay in touch with those friends from back home?
Our wellness tip for this week is yes, you should absolutely maintain those long-distance friendships with the people back home. Of course it’s important to start making new friends here on campus, but it’s important to keep up your old ties, too.
Here’s why: for starters, research shows that having good, close friends lengthens your lifespan and sharpens your mind. Homesickness may be starting to creep its way in, and talking to friends from home can combat some of that. Friends from home can give you “out of the bubble” advice if you’re fighting with a friend here. And they’ve known you long enough that they are probably willing to give you honest advice, even if it’s not the advice you want to hear. Chances are they’ll also make you laugh.
Joshua Pei, deputy director of Student Government’s social advocacy arm, says he’s surprised by how many students don’t stay in touch with friends from back home. It “helps you stay grounded, since they are the people who have known you the longest,” he says. “They can be the gauge if you are mentally healthy and taking care of yourself. It can be hard if you are here alone.”
So how can you maintain these important relationships that have probably taken you years to grow? Of course, the easiest way is keeping track of each other on social media—Instagram, WeChat, Facebook, whatever your preference—and starting a text group chat, although you’re probably already doing these things.
To form a tighter bond, go the extra mile. Pick up your phone—yes, it’s an actual telephone—and have a real conversation. Don’t rely on texting. It’s not as intimate or comforting as hearing someone’s voice. Make a date to watch Fleabag or The Good Place while you’re on the phone. Send a paper birthday card via snail mail, because who doesn’t like still getting actual mail? Start traditions. For instance, when you’re all home from school over the Thanksgiving break, host a dinner party. And one last tip: If they are close by and you are financially able, find a way to go see them on their birthday.
Pei says he bought a gaming laptop with him to BU, for the sole purpose of playing Fortnite with his best friend from back home on the West Coast. “We are super bad at it, but we usually play on Saturday nights,” he says. “It’s a way to talk, while also doing something together, and it helps us stay in touch.”
You and your best friends from home are now separated, not by a few blocks, but by hundreds or maybe thousands of miles, for nine months out of the year. Holiday breaks are nice, and FaceTime and Instagram help you stay connected. But how do you keep up a close friendship long-distance? And is it really that important to stay in touch with those friends from back home?
Our wellness tip for this week is yes, you should absolutely maintain those long-distance friendships with the people back home. Of course it’s important to start making new friends here on campus, but it’s important to keep up your old ties, too.
Here’s why: for starters, research shows that having good, close friends lengthens your lifespan and sharpens your mind. Homesickness may be starting to creep its way in, and talking to friends from home can help combat some of the sadness that brings (especially if you don’t always want to talk to Mom or Dad). Friends from home can give you some “out of the bubble” advice if you’re facing a conflict with a friend here. And they’ve known you long enough that they are probably willing to give you honest advice (and comfortable about doing it), even if it’s not the advice you want to hear. Chances are they’ll also make you laugh—and laughter really is the best medicine.
Joshua Pei (CAS’21), cochair of Student Government’s social advocacy arm, says he’s surprised by how many students don’t stay in touch with friends from back home. It “helps you stay grounded, since they are the people who have known you the longest,” he says. “They can be the gauge if you are mentally healthy and taking care of yourself. It can be hard if you are here alone.”
So how can you maintain these important relationships that have probably taken you years to grow? Of course, the easiest way is keeping track of each other on social media—Instagram, WeChat, Facebook, whatever your preference—and starting a text group chat, although you’re probably already doing these things.
To form a tighter bond, go the extra mile. Pick up your phone—yes, it’s an actual telephone—and have a real conversation. Don’t rely on texting. It’s not as intimate or comforting as hearing someone’s voice. Make an appointment to watch Fleabag or The Good Place while you’re on the phone. Send a paper birthday card via snail mail, because who doesn’t like still getting actual mail? Start traditions. For instance, when you’re all home from school over the Thanksgiving break, host a dinner party. And one last tip: if they are close by and you are financially able, find a way to go see them on their birthday.
Pei says he bought a gaming laptop with him to BU, for the sole purpose of playing Fortnite with his best friend from back home on the West Coast. “We are super bad at it, but we usually play on Saturday nights,” he says. “It’s a way to talk, while also doing something together, and it helps us stay in touch.”
This Series
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December 10, 2019
Wellness Wednesday: How to Chill Out during Finals
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November 19, 2019
Wellness Wednesday: How to Make Smart Choices at the Thanksgiving Table
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November 6, 2019
Wellness Wednesday: Resiliency—How to Bounce Back from a Setback
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