Snapshots of Dialogue

The class of 1913 thought it funny to capture some moments of dialogue between students and faculty. Some of them are not entirely clear, while others have a tone of “slapstick” comedy about them. 

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Professor MacWatters, who taught homiletics was quoted as saying, “Paderewski always had to move the piano to get the attending of the audience. I am a second Paderewski.”

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Prof. Knudson: “A one-eyed professor while studying the text discovered six verses that should be dropped out of this chapter.
Harper: “How many verses would he have found to drop if he had had two eyes?”

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Prof. Sheldon: “Why did the Alogi deny that John wrote his gospel?”
Morgan: Because they had an axe to grind.”
Prof. Sheldon: “Correct. They wanted to sharpen an instrument with which to cut out the Book of John.”

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Student: “Professor, was there a providential act of charity in the account of the dogs licking the sores of Lazarus?”
Prof. Sheldon: “I would refer that question to the department of Dogmatics.”

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Layton: After preaching twenty minutes in Homiletics Class, said when the bell rang, “I am sorry that the time is up, men, I have only finished my introduction.”

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The noise of a childish voice in the hall distracted the history class.
Prof. Cell said, “You’ll have to get used to that, I have three at home.”
B. D. Scott: “But we’re not used to that, Professor.”
Prof. Cell: “Some of you would like to be.”

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Hess, coming into his room after Systematics, dropped in a chair dejectedly and exclaimed to his roommate, “Uncle Henry’s clipped the angels.”

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Morgan, while dreaming in Hebrew class was called on to recite. “What line is it, Professor?”
Prof. Knudson: “You’ll have to get in line, Mr. Morgan, and keep in line better than that.”

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Ringrose (not prepared to recite in Hebrew): “I’m afraid you’ll have to pass me to-day.”
Prof. Knudson: “Not on a recitation like that.”

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A nameless student asked, “Professor, did Spencer write his own autobiography?”