KENNETH KOCH
85
horrible exempti on from reality? Do I wish to be part of a warm and
embosom ing culture? And if I do-Now you tell me, a t my time in life,
how on ea rth I am ever go ing
to
be completely sa ti sfi ed? The idea is
ridi cul ous. And yet here I am, forever o n the hunl. ..
If
I cou ld gel
to
Zagora (if that non-a rri vin g ma n wou ld repa ir my ca r )
and see th e Blu e Men, my life would have a no ther cha nce at fulfill–
menlo The Blue Men . They live in th e deserl. But what has that to do
with me? And merely to see them . I don't walll to be one. Perhaps I am
not looking for h app in ess but look in g fo r the mo t happy-ma king way
to look for ilo Like childhood dreams of judging a beaut y contes lo Miss
America! the judge says.
Moslem sex. Moslem g irls. Moroccan bea uties. Eyes. Eyes look great
big over veils. All th e face strugglin g up into the eyes.
Veiled
faces.
What, under th e ve il s, th eir express ion s? Did you know there were
people rather unlike you a nd me? Wh a t would you do under a ve il? Try
one on. Try smiling. Try li cking your lips. You would probably not be
frowning hideou sly.
What about thi s? A whole n a ti on of g irl s and of women to ta ll y
unava il able
to
you . And here you are wa lking among them, as if
everything were perfectly a ll ri ghl. It 's act ua ll y kind of ni ghtmari sh.
Fortunately you a re runnin g on an electri c mo to r which wa kes you and
puts you to sleep a t regular tirnes.
Seriously. What is on e to ma ke of an o rganiza ti on tha t, like art,
involves a nd engages our most powerful impul ses and directs them
towa rd a hi sto ri ca ll y comprehen sible but persona ll y unfeela bl e end ,
and that is ca ll ed a coulllry and is thi s gorgeous place Morocco, which
gives impress ion s while taking away substan ce becau se the substance is
just incalcul a bl y too much fo r us to bear? And is thi s true?
It
sounds
too interwoven to be true. I reject il. It's just what I don ' t like a bout
that kind of French writer I discussed. And now h ere it is mo rning. The
mu zzein is yow ling to bu st a clavicl e. And my windshi eld appears on
the brea kfas t ta ble. It is Zagora today , on the wings of dawn. Blue Men ,
watch oul. We'll soon be down there wh ere you a re.
