90
PARTISAN REVIEW
Certa inl y if we have been in wa ter a lready we know dea th
Dea th is heat or air o r wa ter
But where in the shell of Mo rocco-
Fo r, if death be the subj ect, Mo rocco like every o th er pl ace is onl y a
shell-
Can this be pl aced? Is it all from " di spl aced need "
Like the sculptures of ugliness? How much truth can there be in
anything or in that?
I want to see th e desert
And here it is. And the ca ravan moves on , th e ca ravan of my thinkin g I
mi ght be crazy
No, no t crazy, but p itchin g the wrong thumb , hit chhikin g a ride in a
to ta ll y oppos ite d irecti on
From where I want to go, and I make an adju stment now and go in the
o pposite directi on.
If
I had no mo ney
There would still be a Sho rtage o f rea lit y. Tha t sho rtage is in me.
Ra ther, I am the sho rtage. T he shortage had an
Amazing experi ence in Mo rocco. Whi ch was a lso comp letely ordin ary.
As it always is. Since no one knows what an ything is a bout. Offi cia ll y.
As a matter of fact I suppose bein g so abstract ly d iffused whil e ca ring
so much in some funny uneven kind of way pro tects one fr om the
decadence of acting like a cup , ooohooo fl opping a round in some–
body's hand. But so would a lo t of o ther thin gs would. I know th ere's
one too man y. Essaouira, farewell! I sa id tha t befo re.
If
my life means
anything, it is th at I am always fo rgetting just wha t it is tha t I want.
How 's that for meanin g? I have found a way
LO
be unsa ti sfi ed by
everything and always somewh at pl easantl y excited . Or pa infull y
excited . Wha t's Zen compared to th a t? Wh at's Academi a's compelling
suture? it's compiling future? I want to kn ow who has ever found
anything as wonderful as bein g a strain-no t the stra in er o r the
stra ined, but the thin g itself, hel d ti ght between two eterniti es (what is
that?) like a dog, held on two leashes, by two enraged furi es, th e eyes of
the world , the peacema kers of eternit y (tha t wo rd aga in , you would
think I wanted to di e, if you didn 't kn ow me better, it is mo re that in
truth I would like to vani sh , but into thi s p rose stud y to live fo rever
here but also be eterna ll y writing, my idea l would be a text that was
a lways writing, but then on th e o th er hand I have never been awa re of
being interes ted in tha t, and I can ' t imagin e actuall y as I read it over
wha t it means- I have to get o ut of thi s sidetrac k: I h ave something
impo rtant
to
say), the stones th at are never lyin g in th e grass but are
always bouncin g around. And I'm held between th em. They tug me.
