JOHN HAFFENDEN
577
might a lso have contributed to the new respon siveness tha t Jim losel
no ted in his record: " P (a tien )t
good
p rogress. Confronts
&
seems very
much in touch with the depth of his p roblem. Seems less an xious
&
phoney. Very compassiona te man who is leveling with feelings."
Berryman felt better disposed towards treatment for a bout the next
three weeks, a tempo rary sta te which is marked in Zosel's notes. On
May 19th he recorded , " Progress. In touch with deep feelings"; On 27
May, " P(a tien )t ma king progress in spontaneity
&
breaking out of
illu sion ." The trend came to a halt, however, on June 5th : "P (a tien )t
p rogress ing but seems to have 'drawn the line' as to how far he will go .
Gets little insight. Does no t see self as insecure, inadequa te, anxi ous or
fearful. Physical health is poor. Bodil y shaking continues.... Lots of
'God talk ' whi ch seems too pious."
Marion Mann-who witnessed Berryman 's apocalyp ti c confronta–
tion with Zosel and his consequent burst of cooperation with the
group-always felt that h e was maintaining a superior a ttitude. He
was usuall y to be seen sitting by himself in the lounge. One morning,
however-probabl y soon after hi s con version-experience-he was
experi encing such a sense of euphori a tha t he came over and kissed her
on the forehead : "Tha t's a token of my celestial love fo r you ." (On
ano ther occasion, he spoke of a book he was planning to write about
the unit, in which all the pa tients were to be animals. Eventuall y he
decided against it. )
Berryman 's regression after a period of happy responsiveness was
self-destructi ve.
It
was noticeable tha t he would disable himself by a
pa ttern of repeated failures. Whenever things seemed to be going well
for him, Dr. Mann recall ed , " he would go out of his way to set
something up to change tha t. "
" Keg," then a coun sell or-trainee whom Berryman describes in
R ecovery
as " the Knife, most fearsome of confronters," was also present
when losel confronted Berryman about his exeat. Berryman wrote of
him as "an ally against himself. Bony, with bright eyes, a sharp
intell ectual teu tonic look, a high narrow forehead under brush-h air,
... T hirty yea rs o ld maybe, (Berryman 's) height (five-ten ), leashed."
For hi s part, " Keg" felt Berryman 's "super concern " for o thers in the
group . He ach ed for them to get well , and yet was himself detached
from the who le p rocess - "a specta tor on a drama ."
Chri s Fall , the Ward Secretary who had received Berryman into the
hospital, herself entered treatment during Berryman 's term. Berryman
became a sort of fa ther
to
her, and helped h er con siderabl y with her
own recovery. He also h elped an extremely vola til e, exp losive Indi an
