LAURA ADAMS
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and P and
Q
on the other. He worked that middle. But I certainly think
Hemingway was forging his identity every day of his life, more than myself
as a matter of fact. I don't think there 's anything so awful about that. It's
not comfortable, but I think most artists have this problem. Or let's say at
the least ; there are two kinds of artists, those who begin without a sense of
identity and those who have it from the start. Many young writers right now
have a sense of identity. That's the first thing you notice about them,
George V. Higgins, Richard Price, any number of good young writers of
genre coming up now. James T. Farrell years ago was a perfect example of
someone who started with a sense of identity. And then there are the writers
who start with other kinds of talents and are always forging their identity.
Int:
You've said a number of times that your public personality bears little or
no resemblance to your sense of your own identity. Isn't that the sign of a
weak rather than a strong ego?
Mazier:
That 's a midwestern notion , weakness and strength in the ego. Ego, it
seems to me, is many things , but the first is the ability to bear various kinds
of pain and discomfort in order to carry out your project, whatever that is at
a given moment. fn other words, ego is the ability to bring oneself into
focus for the situation. Now, ego is therefore not the same thing as
predictable character at all .
Int:
It isn ' t one 's sense of oneself?
Mazier:
I'd say rather than a sense of oneself, ego is awareness of one 's will.
Knowing at a given moment what you want to do . At least the kind of ego
1'm talking about is that. I once said at the beginning of the piece on the
first Ali-Frazier fight that ego is the ability to move with certainty into
matters about which we know very little. Now, if you accept that , there 's no
reason to assume that you have to have a sense of self. What you need is a
sense of your will. Monroe had a huge ego considering how void she felt of
identity.
Int:
To return to your new novel for a moment , if you can write it as you now
conceive of it will you consider it your greatest achievement?
Mazier:
Well, I'm at the beginning of it and nothing's more dangerous than
to talk about what! think it 's going to be. Still , it wouldn't be much fun to
write an enormously long book that isn ' t very good , that just is fairly
readable and slightly less good than the other stuff I've done. Of course ,
says the practical voice , the publisher might do better with that than if I do
something really good . But ifI can bring it off roughly the way I conceive of
it , I think I'll have something pretty good, pretty interesting . Then after
that- I don't look beyond. There might be all sorts of things to do. I'm
going to be a lot older. The shock right now is that I probably know what
I'm going to be doing next year . In previous years I never did. That was fun ,
