Comments & Discussion

Boston University moderates comments to facilitate an informed, substantive, civil conversation. Abusive, profane, self-promotional, misleading, incoherent or off-topic comments will be rejected. Moderators are staffed during regular business hours (EST) and can only accept comments written in English. Statistics or facts must include a citation or a link to the citation.

There are 56 comments on LGBT Voices: Becoming Myself

  1. Thank you BU Today for creating this piece–and thank you to all the interviewees that participated. Coming out, speaking up, living your truth…these are things you just don’t do once, but rather it’s a lifetime of being me, declaring this is me and that being me is beautiful. My best wishes and respect to all in this video, and everywhere, who are, day by day, becoming and being themselves.

  2. This is such a wonderful piece. I am forwarding the link to friends, possible future students, family, etc. It makes me happy and proud to know that BU is a place where everyone can be comfortable and accepted. Thank you all for sharing your stories and thank you to the talented writers and producers for putting together an outstanding piece.

  3. Each of the stories, told by these courageous and generous members of our community, is a rich and precious gift to everyone who listens. Thank you to each of you, and thank you to BU TODAY. These must be saved and shared so that people will have access to them always. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

  4. Thanks to those who had a hand in this and contributed their stories. I had many friends at BU who were gay and this makes me proud to be an alumni.

  5. I’m very proud that my alma mater produced this video (and that BU supports the cause itself). Things at BU have definitely changed in the last 10 years, and that is great!!

  6. Thanks for producing this video. It really speaks to the unspoken struggle many gay people have during their high school years. Although I never though of hurting myself, there certainly was a lot of loneliness that comes from being different.

    Thanks, Zac and all who have the courage to tell their story.

  7. I think Marsh Chapel, where Liz Douglass works, deserves some special recognition. Religion has been used again and again as a vehicle of intolerance, especially towards homosexuals. It is refreshing to hear about a religious institution that is taking real steps to heal the broken bond.

  8. This piece is just so great. I agree with the above statements, this makes me feel proud to be at BU. Thank you all so much for sharing your stories, especially Zac. You had me in tears. I think some of us at BU come from such liberal backgrounds, me included, that we forget that in so much of the country being gay is a struggle and dangerous one. I often forget how difficult it is to simply be yourself in so many social circles in America. It’s pieces like this one that I think are changing that and I’m so glad.

  9. It is as if BU itself is coming out (finally!) to the fact that it has a LGBT community within its faculty, staff, student body, and alumni. I can hear the ice cracking across Comm. Ave. providing a new opening. The thaw is on.

  10. I think this article makes the mistake of, perhaps inadvertently, equating the support of marriage between one man and one woman to harassment and hate crimes. They are very different, and placing them side by side implies that those who believe in traditional marriage are guilty of criminal activity.

    It is tragic when people are bullied or driven to the kind of despair that would cause them to end their own lives. I would not wish that upon anyone, LGBT or straight. At the same time that I strongly believe in the dignity of every human person, I also strongly believe that marriage is the union between one man and one woman.

  11. A big thank-you to Kim, Robin, Vern, and Leslie for creating such a touching and relevant piece. Seeing this on BU Today made me remember why it was so wonderful to work with you for five years. Miss you.



  13. Thanks for sharing your stories. These messages are universal, important for the LGBT community and beyond. We need more role models like these students, staff and faculty. Watching them made my day.

  14. Somebody give Robin Berghaus an award! I suppose it’d be better if BU had long been the kind of place where a feature like this was a “nice contribution” but nothing really new — but for any of us whose connection to BU goes back more than a few years, the fact is that this project (headlining on the university’s home page, no less) is a HUGE milestone. Talk about work that makes a shining difference for the university’s image. To Robin and team: thank you.

  15. I coexisted splendidly with several LGBT classmates in my time at BU, however I echo an earlier comment questioning the urgency to print an article like this on the BU homepage, and how it openly alienates those who would prefer if the university, which they paid close to $200,000 over 4 years to go to, did not identify itself whole-heartedly to one side of this issue. We all like to commend a university when they take higher ground on a moral issue, as BU did with civil rights movement in the 1960s, however I wonder what the public reaction would be if the homepage documented students from the Newman House at the National Right to Life Rally or Jewish students at a pro-israel anti-palestinian extremist rally on Boston common last year.

    I would prefer that in the future if BU wishes to remain politically neutral, please do not celebrate and take a side on an issue that many of BU’s students are still divided on.

  16. I’m glad you held on. Life’s a feisty one, ain’t she XD?
    -also, i am slightly curious to know who the person in the BU homepage is, right above the link to this…

  17. This isn’t a should-we-have-gay-marriage debate, it’s not political in any way, it’s simply students expressing who they are, telling the story of struggles they’ve had, and letting us know that BU was a safe place for them and they are happy with their lives and who they are now. This is a response to young people tragically killing themselves across the country, not a response to Prop. 8. Do gay people not have the right to do even that?

  18. I now understand better the emotional complexities and struggles in the lives of gays and lesbians. But, let us stop for a moment and think about what the consequences of this article would mean to our lives. There is still an unresolved issue being spoken about in a very emotional and personal level here: homosexuality and homosexual marriages. We all know that people have different values and ideas. Some people agree with it and embrace it as normal and natural; some disagree and view it as wrong. Some even go further to condemn all who practice homosexuality as “doomed” and judge that they will go to hell because of this. Of course, the last case is not respectful and considerate attitude to assume. However, on the other side of the coin, by putting forward the claim that we should be tolerant and accepting to those whose sexual orientation deviates from traditional view of sexual orientation, we are snatching away the claims and rights of those who strongly believe the value in traditional marriage. In other words, “liberals” accuse “conservatives” for being “intolerant” when they themselves are often not tolerant of the conservatives. This article and the videos were definitely very well made and show that there are prejudices, hurts, struggles, and depression, but I wonder if BU ever cares about those who are struggling to stand firm in their beliefs in certain moral values of marriage. I wonder if BU ever notices that some people like myself are hurt and disappointed from being regarded as “intolerant,” “close-minded,” and even “bigoted” because of my belief in holy and pure traditional marriage between a woman and a man. I also wonder why BU so deeply cares about homosexuals and leave certain group of people as another social “outcasts”. Where are we really heading to? Where should we go from here? BU Today has already posted two articles about gay/lesbian marriage within this week. Is it not showing BU’s certain preference to a controversial social issue? If more of these articles are posted, wouldn’t college students who do not yet have strong opinions about this controversial issue easily adapt certain moral value? What are we to say about the majority of people who do not agree with homosexual marriage? I am still not sure where we are going with it, and am deeply concerned about this social issue.

  19. Thank you BU for having these inspiring, powerful, and moving stories on the front page of the BU Today. Thanks to those who shared their experiences, challenges and strength. Thanks to Marsh Chapel too, for their gift of acceptance, making a difference for many LGBT students, faculty and staff. I’m so proud to be at BU!

  20. When can we get to a point where homophobia is not a valid claim? or argument? The term ‘conservative’ does not have to be hate-filled, and I feel sorry for you that you’re hiding behind that moniker in order to spread a message of hate. ‘traditional marriage’ is constantly being bandied about, but that term is not what you want. many, many people in heterosexual relationships get divorced, and have affairs. what makes you think a same sex marriage is going to be so horrible? it’s not affecting you in any way.

  21. Honestly? The people who don’t want to see love and support for LGBTQ students on our homepage aren’t the kind of people I want going to my school in the first place. This isn’t an article about gay marriage, there is nothing political whatsoever — it’s about LGBTQ students and staff finding their voices and being true to who they are for perhaps the first time in their lives. How is this a bad thing? It’s the most inspiring thing I’ve seen.

    I’m so, so proud of BU for realizing the importance of this story, especially in light of all the recent suicides. Never change, Boston University. This is why I love you.

    As to the person upset about there being no trans people in the article, check this out: We love our transmen and women just as much as we do our lesbian, gay, bisexual, and genderqueer fellows! And that is why BU is so amazing, there’s so much acceptance for everyone. It’s the most wonderful environment. I have never met anyone here who didn’t support LGBTQ rights — while they may exist (and there always will be people like that), they are far from prevalent. I remember entering my freshman year and doing Gender Focus with FYSOP. I was blown away. Simply blown away with all the love and openness and acceptance and fun. It was a fantastic experience, so much that I came back again this year to be a staff member. That is just one of the reasons why I love BU so much.

    I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: coming to BU was the best decision of my life. <3 Here, I've never had to hide my sexuality. I've been out as a pansexual since I first set foot on campus. And the support I've received is overwhelming.

    Be you. That's that. <3

  22. The first time I remember seeing you, (or at least I’m pretty sure it was you, I remember you saying you were from Nebraska) was at one of the Q and A sessions this past year at either orientation or a welcome day. You were answering questions and all of your answers were hysterical. My Dad and I would often bring up how funny you were afterwards. You’re one of the people that made me think BU was really an amazing and stimulating place. I never knew that behind all the jokes was this story. You’ve had an impact on my life and the choice I made to come to BU. I’m so glad you’re here today to tell your story. Thank you so much for everything you’ve done for me.

  23. Hey all.
    I myself am a heterosexual. Like everyone, there have been tough times in my life that i have worked through. Nothing that i have experienced, however, could allow me to begin to imagine the difficulty of living in a world with people telling me that who i am is wrong. You all embrace your sexuality in a world where not all people accept things foreign to them. In doing so, and in surviving, you are all role models. to heterosexuals, homosexuals, and everyone.
    thank you.

  24. I was considering Boston University and decided to go to the website but when I accessed the website I thought I had performed a typo. I was wondering why there was a reference LGBT on the home page! Not just a reference – it IS the homepage. With so much wrong in the world: war, starvation, poverty, injustice, I am just saddened that BU has bowed down to such a small minority and made this topic the forefront of their message to the world. On your homepage? Really?
    BU – not where I’ll be getting my D.Min. All, please read Romans 1. The entire Chapter. Don’t take my word for it, just read the Word of God and draw your own conclusions.
    Peace be with you all. We all fall short of the glory of God. None of us greater than the other. By faith in Christ, we are forgiven and yes, we can overcome our weaknesses by the Grace of God alone.

  25. While the stories are very touching and it is incredible to see what these people have overcome, I do agree with some of the previous posts that BU should not affiliate itself (especially on the homepage) with any one particular issue. There would be an absolute outrage if BU posted a video on the homepage promoting some “conservative” issue, so why is it proper to promote this issue here? Of course, a university is a community of students, but it is first and foremost an educational institution that should not side with certain viewpoints. Yes, these are important stories to share, but I think that they belong strictly on the BU Today site and not on BU’s official webpage. BU is a university, not a rights advocate group, and our home page should be welcoming to all and not just directed to one particular group. LGBT students are not the only students here and are not the only students that the University should be trying to recruit. It just feels like BU is being very pushing and militant with these views, and is out-rightly attacking those who believe in traditional marriage. Although this is not discriminatory towards the LGBT community, it is discriminatory towards the community that believes in traditional marriage, and that is not right nor should it be represented on BU’s main web page. I’m not upset at all with the videos, and in fact think they are wonderful, but just don’t agree with where they are being displayed.

  26. For those guys who thinks this is “inappropriate” to be displayed on BU homepage:

    1. Don’t you realize BU homepage changes its theme all the time? Now it happens to be the LGBT theme, so what? There will be a Xmas or winter recess one coming soon I’m sure.

    2. If you think BU cares only about LGBT students by having such homepage for now, then you probably display all your belongings in your front yard.

  27. One role of a university is to provide a forum for learning, and that includes through debate and discussion.

    Clearly these videos have done just that. For this reason, the LGBT Voices feature is very appropriate for the BU home page.

    A good university accepts a diverse student body, and faculty and staff who can challenge each other–liberals and conservatives alike. The point of this feature is not to push a political agenda, but to let people at the university share their experiences.

    For those who are offended, it’s important to know that wherever you go, people will not always be like you or agree with your political and social beliefs. That’s o.k. What is sad is your potential rejection of a school purely because the community is diverse.

  28. I am the mother of a prospective BU student. As I was perusing the BU website, I came across these moving stories. I was particularly affected by Zac’s story–I was literally brought to tears. I think these stories are important to bring a much needed perspective on this subject. I applaud BU for highlighting this piece. In addition to providing an excellent academic environment, it is obvious to me that BU also cares about and supports their students as individuals. As a parent, it is reassuring to know that my son would be receiving his college education in this kind of environment.

  29. People like “Saddened” above write about the Bible but ignore the part of the Bible that says it’s okay to have slaves or that it is a sin to eat shell fish. Most likely he or she hates something about himself/herself and it makes him/her feel better about himself/herself by putting down an entire group of people. Even if gays were a very small population, does that make it okay to show hate and disdain to a group of people? (Studies show gays equate to 10% of the population which is roughly 30 million Americans.)

    Being gay is no more of a choice than being blue eyed. Many gay people would take the “straight pill” if it existed as nobody wants to be called evil or wrong for who they are.

    I hope my cousin who is also a BU alumn who signed the Massachusetts anti-gay marriage petition back in 2004 and people like “Saddened” above understand that they have the blood of gay people who have taken their own life because of their words and actions that perpetuate gays second class citizens and makes them feel badly for who they are! SHAME ON YOU!

    Thank you BU for doing the right thing and putting principle ahead of what’s popular!

  30. I find it comical how the so-called “other side” says their side isn’t represented. Gay people aren’t the ones saying that straights are amoral or shouldn’t have equal rights. Straight people aren’t taking their own lives because they are straight. When being gay is no longer an issue and people aren’t persecuted for who they are, we won’t need to put gay people on the cover of a university home page!

  31. There is no political agenda here. It’s just BU students, faculty and staff sharing their stories about discrimination, and how they’ve dealt with this kind of treatment. Everyone (straight, LGBT, liberal or conservative) can learn from them. Open your mind a little.

  32. I’d love to see a piece on how straight people at this school feel marginalized. Of course this would never happen (nor would I expect it). I would prefer is the school did not show how LGBT are marginalized or discriminated against on the front page of (if a student wanted to write a op-ed about LGBT in the DFP then by all means). If you honestly feel there is no agenda here you are woefully ignorent. By having this on the homepage BU makes incoming students feel marginalized if they do not agree with ideas of LGBT. By posting this the school endorse one type of life style while dismissing another.

    As a school that promotes diversity and acceptance why are they isolating those that disagree with this kind lifestyle?

  33. Some topics won’t always be comfortable for everyone, like this LGBT Voices feature for you. The mere fact that the university reports on a topic like this shouldn’t make you feel marginalized, because you don’t fit into that category. It’s news. Because some people won’t like the story or are politically conservative, doesn’t mean the university shouldn’t report it. One goal of a university is to cause people to question. And that’s happening here.

  34. Re: Wonderful Stories, but Don’t Belong on the Homepage

    This isn’t BU making a statement; it is BU Today interviewing a group of students with a shared experience. They do this often, and tend to stay pretty balanced. If you think they’re leaving out those with more conservative backgrounds, you may have missed the several other articles that profiled students in religious groups across campus.

    Re: Saddened

    If noticing this article made you think twice about attending BU, it isn’t the right place for you anyway.

  35. In my own life, I have gone through the same struggle that many featured in this video have. For a long time, I was on the “outside,” though for a reason other than my sexual orientation. As a girl, somewhere along the line I developed an unfounded and unhealthy nervousness/discomfort around men, and this caused me to turn to find most of my fulfilling friendships in women.

    Over time, I began to be attracted to women: sometimes the more gentle ones, and at other times the more boisterous/tough ones. It just seemed so easy to go from being friends to more than friends. Eventually it got physical.

    That in itself was confusing for me. I wouldn’t have felt comfortable getting close to men like that, but I really didn’t feel right about being close to women like that either. I couldn’t feel settled within. Still, my mindset began to consider the gay way of life to be normal. What exactly is wrong about it, I asked myself?

    I finally broke down and confessed to my sister the internal struggle that I was having. She listened, and prayed for me. By God’s grace, I began to get freed from my insecurities and lusts, one by one. It took more than a year, and it is something I still find cropping up once and a while, but now I am TRULY becoming myself.

    Freedom is knowing that God has created me to be a woman, in all the glorious splendor with which he made Eve and had Adam attracted to her, and that God loves me tremendously.

    I encourage you to read in the Bible this short passage [Romans 1: 21-32, see]. It pretty much describes exactly what happened to me. It shows how I “exchanged the truth of God for a lie,” and what happened as a result.

    Thanks for hearing me out.

  36. This posting, and its posting on the BU website, is incredibly meaningful to this BU alumnus. Thank you, BU Today, and the university behind it. The sad truth is that the BU I experienced when I attended in the 1980s was a mostly hostile place for gay people. If it’s any consolation to the individuals whose belief systems are offended by stories about LGBT people, particularly those who are self-accepting, know that you would have felt more comfortable with the BU of the past.

Post a comment.

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *