ALAN LELCHUK
609
He shook his head, in futility. "C'mon, we'll start in-I'll buy us a pint of
something, wait right here. Cheesus,
if
Lewis ever saw us he'd hemorrhage."
While he took off, 1 read about Philip Carey beginning his lonely life,
after the early death of his mother. The accompanying illustrations were
detailed-lovely, captioned by the first, "You naughty boy, Miss Watkins will
be cross with you."
Presently, in the dim cramped office, we were sipping Seagram's from
two porcelain teacups, amidst Velveeta chunks and Ritz crackers, sitting by
the rolltop desk like two British officers in some remote outpost.
"How is it?" Bernie asked, picking up my book.
"Excellent. Though I'vejust really begun it."
"The drink, dodo, the drink. Yeah, I've heard of this, but never got
around to it. I'll wait
till
they make a good modern flick out of it. So... ?"
"Tastes good." 1 waited for the full blurry effect to take hold, but all
that was happening was that 1 was coming to like the dark mahogany wain–
scotting, and the thin,jagged roads ofoak in the desk.
"How many fingers do 1 have up?" he asked.
"Eleven," 1 answered.
He nodded. "Okay wise guy, but just hold on willya? Nurse the thing
more. Sip a little at a time, otherwise, you'll be on your second. Lay the taste
on your tongue" -and he held out his, to show me the way- "and sort of run
it around your palate, slowly.
Go
ahead, just a touch. There you go. And tell
me, what the hell is behind all this?"
1 now took full notice, of letters of inquiry from Baghdad, Barbados,
and Cyprus, and bills going out to Malta, Budapest, Chandigarh, distant
places!
"Well?"
"Americana," 1 answered. "I wanted to turn native."
"Sure," he snickered, "Sure. More like you want to impress those
whores over at Jackson's huh?"
Did I? 1 explained how 1 had indeed gotten drunk over at Jackson's
that night, and didn't want to repeat the act.
"You want another tip, about visiting there again?"
"Sure."
"Stay away from the ladies. They ain't there just for decoration, or
diddling, you realize."
"What do you mean?"
"Bozo. First they'll soften you up a little. And then, they might just be
hanging around you when you're actually playing." He looked sideways at
me, saw 1 wasn't quite getting it, and came to sit on the arm of my chair, al–
most tipping us over. "They might just be signalling the house, meaning the
