608
PARTISAN REVIEW
"Hers was Polish, I believe." He draped his arm around my shoulder,
appearing to be on the verge of delivering some other words, some deeper
confession....
But then he wavered, paused, and gave me a quick goodbye wave, as
he ascended the rickety steps, and moved out.
If it were true, what he had said, then he knew more about "messing
up" and regretting it, than I did,
by
Jar.
The whole conversation, his spoken
words and his deliberate retreat from words, stayed with me.
From Bernie I found out about "Waspish prig," and from Maugham, I
found out about being gripped immediately by a story. Along with beginning
the new novel, I also began developing a new determination, and even, a
plan ofsorts. One which surprised me.
On Tuesday night, when Bernie stayed late to close up, I asked him to
"teach me how to drink." Ceasing his filing, he stared at me. "Have you gone
nuts?"
"I want to learn how to hold the stuff."
Shrugging his sloping shoulders, in hopelessness, he mumbled, "After we
close up at eight, we'll give it a shot. Boy, you do come up with some, don–
cha?"
The lesson began in Lewis's small office, where Professor Bernie
Gross of Bensonhurst instructed me in Alcoholl.l. Ground rules: "You take
you first drink with crackers or cheese, not on an empty stomach. You don't
'imbibe' cheap stuff, especially cheapo wine-otherwise it's Big Hangover
Time next morning. You don't
mix
drinks, meaning
if
you start with bourbon
you stay with bourbon and don't also accept wine or scotch. What else? Cut a
drink with water or soda, and you can nurse it longer. Capish? Okay. One
last thing: if you want to protect your stomach a little, drink your liquor with
milk in it, especially scotch."
When I stared in disbelief, he responded. "Yeah, it sounds goofy, but it
works. Old Mosey taught me that one. Any questions before we begin the
lab?"
"Yes. How do I get beyond the taste?"
"You're serious, aren't you? You schmuck! You get to like the taste,
that's how. But gradually."
I nodded. "And what do I start with, scotch?"
"No, no. That'll take years. You could try uh rum and coke. Or seven
and seven, that's Seagram's and-"
"Seven-Up," I said. "Jackson gave me a bit of that. Yeah, that taste was
all
right."
"You mean you couldn't taste the whiskey, right?"
"Right"
