KITCHENETTE
247
JOE: Miss Croak-ass.
MIKIE
(rising behind
JOE,
completely insane):
What did you say?
JOE: Miss Croak-ass!
Repeat
"What did you say?"
and
"Miss Croak-ass"
a dozen
times, fast er and fast er until it reaches a frienzied pitch; then:
JOE:
I
said you can call me Miss - er - Mr. Croak-ass.
MIKIE: Oh. How nice.
Jo: Yes, it is nice.
MIKEY: Yes, we're both nicc. All four of us are nice.
JOE
( pulling a rose from MIKEY'S hair) :
All this talk of crocuses
reminds me of roses.
MIKIE
(exotic accent) :
How do crocuses rcmind
you
of roses?
JOE
(throwing the rose into
MIKIE'S
coffee cup):
Float roscs m a
dish for a party effect.
MIKJE
(standing furiously, grabbing JOE'S hair) :
What the hell did
you do that for?
JOE: For a party effect, for a party effect! Julia Childs says float
roses in a dish for a party effect! Don't get so upset! For goodness
sake - all these excitable people--
Standing, whimpering toward the
FILMMAKER.
Harvey, I'm never gonna be in a movie again where there are so
many excitable people....
MIKEY
stands suddenly and throws on her fur coat . She stelJS
down off the stage and runs out into the audience, loudly com–
plaining. A spotlight follows her to the back of the house.
MIKEY: Excitable people! Excitable people! That's what's wrong
with this world. A girl like you - you're supposed to be studying
journalism, aren't you? Well, aren't you? So what are you doing
going around with a bum like that? No wonder girls like you get
raped! Standing around in dark doorways and kissing and mush–
ing and he squeezes your titties - he squeezes your titties in dark
doorways! - well, doesn't he? And what else does he do to you
in the dirty hallways - dirty things, dirty things, doesn't he? Well,
never mind what dirty things - you know what dirty things,
I
don't have to list them for you, he does dirty things between your
legs! Your legs! YOUR LEGS! That dirty bum does dirty things
between your legs so it's no wonder,
I
say, that girls like you get
raped! You ask for it! Can't you go and sit on a bench in the
park with your date? What do you have to stand up for? Now,
