238
MIKIE: How fonnal.
Jo: How nonnal.
MIKIE: How rural.
RONALD TAVEL
Jo: How un-en-dur-able!! Besides, we can't go out tonight, I have
nothing to wear.
MIKIE
(broad advertising voice and gestures):
But any outfit will do.
You don't have to wear something expensive.
J
0
(a model's stroll across stage):
Oh, I never wear anything ex–
pensive. I feel one should dress inexpensively - but flashily - you
understand?
MIKIE
(rushing to her):
I understand only that you're beautiful, Jo.
Jo: That's obvious, Mikie.
MIKIE
(taking her in his arms):
I'd like to change your mind about
going to the beach tonight. . . .
Jo
(her features distorting hideously):
You'll have to change
my
face first.
Change a fool against his will,
He's of the same opinion still.
MIKIE
(tenderly):
You're such a jokable, chokable female.
Jo: Mikie, Mikie, does my humor overwhelm you?
MIKIE
(pulling out of her arms):
It whelms me.
Jo: It whelms you? What does that mean?
MIKIE: Well, it whelms me, it whelms me, it doesn't
overwhelm
me.
J
0
(stepping back onto the commode, crying, while
MIKIE
grimaces
deliciously to the audience):
Oh, Mikie, Mikie, what are you
saying?! Then I've really failed you haven't I? As a lover and
mother I've failed you! In the end, I've failed you!
MIKIE
(winking):
No, in the
end
you haven't failed me.
Jo
( screaming) :
Don't you dare wink at your mother in that dis–
respectful manner! Where do you think you are? With your
friends? With your bummy friends?
MIKIE
(triumphant):
Well, I always said you can choose your
friends, but you can't choose your relations.
Jo
(pitiful):
Mikie, Mikie, what are you saying? Didn't you choose
me for relations? Didn't you? It was free choice, wasn't it - I
mean, I never forced myself upon you, did I?
MIKIE
(tenderly):
On the contrary.
Jo: And isn't a mother a boy's best friend?
MIKIE
(at the table):
Sure, she
is.
Sure, she is.
