246
RONALD TAVEL
JOE
(extending a long wet tongue, his eyes crossing a's he looks down
at the tip of it):
No, it ain't there, neither!
Jo
(coming away angrily and screaming at
MIKEY
while
JOE
squirms
sensuously along the footlights, vamping the audience like a sarong
girl):
Do you dig sleeping with cripples???
MIKEY: What did you say, honey?
Jo
(screaming):
I
said do you dig sleeping with cripples?
MIKEY: What did she say, Mikie?
Jo: Oh! You must! Because he's cripple-minded! Cripple-minded,
that's what he is!!
Crying in earnest, sitting on the commode.
MIKIE
(going to
Jo
and putting her head in his lap as if she were
his daughter):
There, there, little girl, my little girl, don't you
cry. . . .. don't you bother your little head about what he
says. . . .. don't you bother both your little heads about what he
says.....
Jo
(simpering):
If
you really love me, Mikie, you'll say something
mean to Joe like he said to me.
MIKIE
(stalking the recumbent
JOE): Hey, Joe, how would you
like to eat my sausage
(pronounced: saw-sage)
???
JOE
(exotic accent):
Why do you call eet your saw-sage -- is eet
because eet is so hot?
Jo: You know,
I
saw him in another movie - only he was called
Madame Maria Ouspensakya in that movie.
JOE: Well,
I
always live my parts, my dear.
Jo:
I
always live my parts, too. Only
I
can't figure out what my part
in this movie is.
FILMMAKER: That's funny 'cause
I
can see it from here. - CUT!
All four break and scramble for sitting positions:
Jo
on the stool,
MIKEY
on the box,
JOE
on the commode,
MIKIE
on the upstage
chair. A very long, tense pause; sense of expectancy.
Jo
(suddenly kicking
MIKEY
in the back):
Hey, honey, what did
you say your name was?
MIKEY: Mikey.
Jo: Well, you see, that mixes me up, because his name is Mikie also.
MIKEY: Then you can call me by my second name. You can call
me Miss Crocus.
Jo: Miss Croak-us??
