HUMANITIS
339
that if you couldn't spend a hundred grand on yourself, with your
hundreds of suits and coats and thousands of shirts, and the luxury ...
and you yourself spoiled your children. You gave them chocolate in
the cradle, raised them like king and queen.
BUMMIDGE:
I see all that now. It's the bribe we all take to remain sick.
This money is the enemy of life. Excuse me, Wink. Let's talk later.
ACT II
SCENE I
BUMMIDGE
and
SHELDON. BUMMIDGE
wears a special costume
for the great therapeutic moment. It is a sort of Elizabethan
gym
suit. The ample knickers when spread out read Eros
in front. Thanatos in back.
SHELDON
is hokIing by the strapt
a portable cradle with an infant in it.
j
SHELDON:
We better hurry up, boss. The doorman lent me this kid
for a few minutes.
It
cost us twenty-five bucks.
BUMMIDGE :
(Takes the bills from his valise)
All right, quick, unwrap
the kid. I have to have a look at an infant. The literature says
infancy infancy, and all of a sudden I can't remember what they're
like. I had to have a look.
SHELDON :
You could look at one of your own grandchildren.
BUMMIDGE:
I don't want to see my grandchildren.
Enter
MOTT.
MOTT:
What's the problem.... What's this kid?
BUMMIDGE:
Sheldon, take off the shirt and diaper.
SHELDON:
I'll just shove 'em down, I'm no good with the pins.
BUMMIDGE :
(Studying)
The human material stripped to its essentials.
MOTT:
Maybe you should have got a little boy. Why'n't you order a
boy? Send it back.
BUMMIDGE:
The body ... the body! The mystery!
MOTT:
Never the same after puberty, is it?
BUMMIDGE:
The experience is sinking in. I'm tingling and flushing
allover. I see myself as an infant.
MOTT:
A real sturdy kid. She'll grow up to be stacked.
SHELDON:
Her mother is from the building. The doorman lent it to
us. But
if
we don't get it back quick somebody's going to yell kid–
nap. The doorman is in a sweat.
