HUMANITIS
MOTI:
Greetings,
all.
IMOGEN:
Hi, there.
(SHELDON
grunts)
MOTI:
What's the position?
333
BUMMIDGE:
I'm in good form, Louie. My brain is like a sea of light.
I see the events of my life like black fish, here, there, there, there.
MOTI:
We must have been on the right track these last few days. What
part of your life were we on.
IMOGEN:
Eighteen to twenty-five.
BUMMIDGE:
Yes. Here's what it was. I was playing burlesque. That's
what we recaptured.
(He sings and dances)
Oh, I went to school with Maggie Moiphy
And Maggie Moiphy went to school with me
I
tried to get the best of Maggie Moiphy.
But the sonofagun, she got the best of me-e-e
SHELDON:
You do that real well, boss.
MOTI:
I wonder what it means?
BUMMIDGE:
I'm thinking. Why burlesque? I was really afraid of the
girls.
MOTI:
Funny ... that never was my problem.
SHELDON
and
IMOGEN
exchange looks.
BUMMIDGE :
Of course, I wanted to be a singer.
It
was my mother's
ambition for me.
SHELDON:
My mother wanted me to be in business for myself.
BUMMIDGE:
There was a barber in the neighborhood. Da Torino. She
sent me to him for lessons . . . I was fifteen, pimply, dressed in
sweaters, breathing through my mouth. My hair parted in the middle.
Never got enough to eat. Always on the run.
MOTI:
How different I was at that age. Had a beautiful voice. Smooth
personality. I belonged to the Purple Gang, in Detroit.
SHELDON:
No kidding.
MOTI:
I'm not kidding. My cousin was executioner for the mob.
Another relative was bag man. I was an orphan, you see . ..
BUMMIDGE:
I think we'd better work on this Da Torino episode. It's
behind the barber shop. Torino always looks bushed. Leaning on the
grand piano. The minestra is cooking. His wife is mopping the floor.
I'm trying to sing.
0-0-0-0-0.
Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah. E-e-e-e-e. Now Sheldon,
you're the barber's wife, you're mopping the floor.
Enter
WINKLEMAN.
Hello, Winkie.
WINKLEMAN:
What goes on?
