HUMANITIS
331
face)
In the ears.
(They struggle over the handkerchief as the lights
go off)
ACT I
from
SCENE II
Bummidge's apartment on Central Park South. Bummidge
is
onstage. When he is not funny, he seems somewhat severe, a
rather imposing man: half ravaged, half dignified. He
is
dressed
in ski pajamas and a bathrobe, soft lounging shoes, rather
elegant; he is capable of going wild on short notice.
Enter
IMOGEN
and
SHELDON,
the bodyguard.
SHELDON
u
a
former Big Ten football star who attached himself to
BUM–
MIDGE. IMOGEN,
his secretary,
is
carrying a sandwich on a
plate-BUMMIDGE'S breakfast.
BUMMIDGE:
Finally! Where have you been!
SHELDON:
Just doing the errands you told me, boss. You said to return
those shirts. Then I went to see about that hat they blocked wrong.
Then I had to see about the cigars, like you said, in your vault.
Then ...
BUMMIDGE:
All right. How did you get the cuffs of your pants so
slopped up? Never mind. What about the people I'll need today?
Where's Mott? What's in this sandwich? Take this in the kitchen and
put some mustard on it.
(SHELDON
takes the sandwich)
Wait.
(BUM–
MIDGE
bites into it)
Mustard.
(SHELDON
goes to the kitchen)
Ready,
Imogen?
(IMOGEN
sits at the stenotype machine)
Here we go–
(BUMMIDGE
throws himself on the couch. Beside it there
is
a chair for
the analyst.
BUMMIDGE
is
patient and analyst by turns. As analyst, he
wears a green eyeshade)
I dreamed of a fat man in a sweater, of a
pig in bed with me. I dreamed I was in a swimming pool; I was
standing on the stepladder. An old man floated by on his back, with
rosy cheeks, and a long beard he had.
(Changing to the analyst's
chair)
The material seems very mixed, Bummidge. The water might
-mind it
might-be
amniotic fluid. The beard indicates a father
figure.
(Lying on the couch again)
I tell you frankly, I'm fed up with
these boring figures in my unconscious. Mother, father, breast, milk,
