Networking for a job can be intimidating. Our experts say being authentic, genuine, and even a little awkward, can help. Photo via iStock/sanjeri

Student Life

Networking Doesn’t Have to Make You Cringe

A former recruiter, a career coach, and a recent graduate give their top networking tips—including ways to overcome your shyness

Let’s face it: networking can be awkward. You dress up in your best business attire to speak with people you’ve probably never met before, all for a chance at a job or internship. As networking becomes increasingly important in the job-hunting process, it’s okay to feel unsure of where to begin. 

But it doesn’t have to be difficult or intimidating, say experts at BU’s Center for Career Development (CCD). BU Today spoke with Holly Hutchins, a CCD career success coach; Claire Tully, a CCD recruiting program manager; and Gokul Palanisamy (MET’24), an AI and sustainability consultant at Westernacher Consulting. They shared their best networking strategies, as well as things to avoid and ways to alleviate that “cringe” feeling as you go in for a handshake.

Start small

You don’t have to connect with the CEO of a company on your very first day in the field. Begin by mentioning your goals to your classmates, friends, family members, and professors. “You’ll be surprised by what comes back to you,” Hutchins says.

And, BU has a sprawling alumni network. Check BU Connects to see what former classmates and alums are currently working in the areas you’re interested in. If they can’t help you directly, they may be able to point you in the right direction. If you need help drafting that first outreach message, CCD counselors can help.

People want to help

It’s common to feel like you may be bothering or pestering a professional, but they were in the same shoes at one point—and people are generally more willing to help than you may think.

“One misconception is that an employer or recruiter doesn’t want someone reaching out,” Tully says. “I’ve seen people write great emails to me, and I respond. If it’s well-written and done properly, they will see it, and I think they will reach out.” 

Hutchins says to think of networking as being like asking for directions on the BU campus.

“If someone asked you for directions on BU’s campus, you probably would be like, ‘Oh my gosh, I’m happy to help, this won’t take me too long,’ and it’ll really impact your day,” she says. “People are pretty happy to help, particularly current students and new graduates.”

Do your research and proofread

Finding similar interests with a recruiter or current employee can help build connections in an authentic way. But pay attention to details and be careful when copying and pasting outreach messages so you don’t get something wrong. 

“That lacks genuineness,” Tully says. “I would be less likely to even look at that person’s profile.”

AI may not be your friend

It’s likely you’ll be applying to several jobs at a time, so you may be tempted to use artificial intelligence services. Our experts say recruiters can tell when AI is used—and that it can often hurt your chances. Their best advice is to take a little extra time to draft a message yourself. It’ll allow your personality to shine through, which is what employers are really looking for. 

“A lot of people use generative AI when reaching out to people, and we’re starting to hear from recruiters and employers that they’re getting the same message over and over again,” Hutchin says. “I’d encourage people to take a few extra seconds and draft a message first.” 

It’s okay to be awkward

The key to successful networking is making authentic, genuine connections. Sometimes that means being a little awkward. You don’t have to be the most outgoing person in the room, but Tully says the people who come across as genuine are often the most memorable. 

“Being ‘nonchalant’ doesn’t help you,” Palanisamy adds. “You don’t have to be an extrovert, but try to be open, approachable, and reachable.”

Confidence is built, not inherent

Networking can be overwhelming for anyone. Your friends and classmates are in the same boat as you, and practicing with them is a great way to build confidence. The more you put yourself out there, the easier the process will feel. 

“If the action step feels too big and it’s not a good fit for you, you’re not ever going to do it,” says Hutchins. “Push yourself in a way that still feels actionable. I always say [shoot for] your comfort level, plus one.”

Have specific reasons for who you’re reaching out to

Cold-calling may seem like a foolproof strategy, but it can often come across as impersonal and random, Tully says. Make sure you have specific reasons prepared for why you’re interested in a certain company or why you’d like to speak with a certain person. Don’t be afraid to show a bit of your personality—it can help demonstrate that there’s a real person behind the résumé.

“Having that genuineness in that outreach is something employers and recruiters really want, because they’re getting so many outreaches every day,” she says. “They’re people too, and they want to have conversations with people.”

Be upfront about your goals

Networking can often feel one-sided, but ultimately your goal is to get a job, and you shouldn’t be ashamed of sharing that. Be honest about what you’re looking for. Not only will you save time, but asking for what you want may unlock hidden opportunities.

“Being really clear with the person about what you’re asking for can make it really easy for them to say yes,” Hutchins says. “Be prepared to ask for what you want.”

Trust the process

You may not get the response you want the first time—or the first five times—you try to connect with someone. Networking is a long process, where practice can ultimately make perfect. 

Recruiters sift through hundreds of applications a day, so if you send a meaningful message and don’t hear back from someone, try not to take it personally. You’re still building your skills and moving forward toward your goal. 

“Initially, you’ll feel embarrassed, but giving up is what’s actually cringey,” Palanisamy says. “Don’t give up. Just try to focus on the end goal.”