• Susan Seligson

    Susan Seligson has written for many publications and websites, including the New York Times Magazine, The Atlantic, the Boston Globe, Yankee, Outside, Redbook, the Times of London, Salon.com, Radar.com, and Nerve.com. Profile

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There are 14 comments on Debunking Myth That Girls and Boys Learn Differently

  1. As a woman and an engineering graduate student, it has become evident that men unconsciously do not treat women in the same way. I will be in a group working with some very nice guys. We will be trouble shooting a problem. I will make a suggestion and no one listens to me until they are out of ideas. It definitely can be frustrating. But at the same time men have selective hearing when it comes to feminism. When it comes down to romantic relations, men want to believe more women are looking for the more casual sexual relationship. I do believe the most successful relationships are when both partners work together and let the man be the man and the woman be the woman. From an evolutionary standpoint, men were designed to have more testosterone and better “hunting skills” whereas women were designed with more estrogen to be the better multi-taskers. Obviously not all follow this mold but you cannot disagree, for example, that increased testosterone leads to increased muscle mass and so forth which is better suited for the stereotypical male role.

  2. I think Ms. Rivers’ claim that single-sex education and coeducation don’t make a difference is absolutely preposterous. I went to an all-girls school from 4th-8th grade and it was absolutely the best education I have and will ever receive. For some girls, being in a class with boys is both distracting and intimidating and all-girls completely relieves that. Furthermore, you can’t say “girls don’t learn to argue the way boys do”. Girls argue too! A lot! You can learn to argue in an environment with girls. In fact, you have to. I just completely disagree with her idea that single-sex education and coeducation doesn’t make a difference because I experienced firsthand the HUGE difference it makes. I believe all-girls education makes girls more confident, stronger, and can be tailored to the way we learn.

    1. I also went to an all-girl school, but for high school. Interestingly enough, my high school emphasized that girls should excel in science and math and specifically created a science research and engineering program designed for girls to do science research at nearby hospitals and universities throughout high school. Because of that program, I am now an engineering student at BU. So, would Ms. Rivers be for or against this type of education?

    2. You went to an all-girls school? Was it a private school? Were there other factors that might have made it better? I think that might be part of the issue and the all-girls aspect didn’t mean as much as you thought it did. Perhaps.

    3. I agree with Emily. All-girls schools tend to be private, and therefore tend to have better resources and/or higher educational standards than your average co-ed public school. I’m not saying that being all-girls school didn’t make a difference, but I think people should consider the possibility that the difference is not necessarily caused by the fact that it is girls-only. Even if that girls-only factor does make a difference, that doesn’t necessarily mean that girls learn differently from boys. It might be that, when boys are taken out of the equation, girls feel more comfortable stepping outside of those traditional stereotypes, and therefore learn more successfully.

      These are just possibilities, but again, I think it’s important to realize that other reasons can exist.

  3. I totally agree with Ms. Rivers. I’m sick of society deciding what’s “appropriate” or not for a gender. Obviously they are a few differences in the genetic makeup of males and females, but those genes shouldn’t even be a factor in someone’s gender. Gender is a choice, not a predetermined biological destiny. And whether you choose to be a boy or a girl should make no difference in what society expects of you or in what you choose to do.

  4. When Prof. Rivers offhandedly claims that choice in play (tea sets vs. plastic bats) is culturally determined, she makes everything she says suspect. There is just too much well-designed research debunking the idea of gender behavior being purely a social construct. Of course, what’s true is that there are girls who don’t play with tea sets and boys who don’t like to hit each other with plastic bats — but you really don’t find that many boys who are as “into” tea sets as a typical girl, or girls who are as attracted to physically aggressive play as the typical boy.

    When she claims that the people who are pushing single sex education have an “agenda,” does she not realize that the exact same thing may be said about her?

    If suddenly girls are thriving academically far better than boys, and if young men are indeed “failing to launch” more than young women, then yes, we have a problem that needs to be addressed in as many creative ways as possible until a solution is reached (without, of course, disadvantaging girls). If both girls and boys are truly equal, and equally valued, then they should be succeeding equally, and if they are not, we should look at solutions to reach that equality — irrespective of which gender is doing more poorly.

  5. “Harrump. Men get all the attention anyway…” Well this points out that Carrly Rivers is identified as a journalist. Not a scientist. In fact there has been an explosion of female accomplishment. I propose a simple test. Let us focus on public schools and grades. Grading is a metric that is used to assess the ability and performance of students. Let’s see if that swings 50 50 girls to boys. I sure the research has been done, but I’d like to see it for right now. In secondary schools. Secondary schools seem to be the battleground that Rivers has chosen to comment upon.

    What I suspect, though proper research is the only real true value (not books with cute titles), is that the behavioural differences between girls and boys is NOT culturally fomented, and indeed it has a huge influence on what boys and girls eventually accomplish.

    Boys today have a big problem. Just one aspect of character, compliance, is causing great differences in performance at school related tasks. The differences in brains between boys and girls – respective of their IQ and test taking ability – is marginal if it exists at all. Certainly tons of research on the topic has given us lots of fodder for discussion.

    But the differences in male and female character, temperament, and compliance are huge. Indisputable. And as the world shifts dramatically from the agrarian, militaristic society, to a more bee-like corporate world, the male of the species needs to change. Without this adjustment, we are destined for an even greater spread between employed, accomplished, citizens of male and female sex.

    How we solve that problem, I can’t fathom. But refusing to believe it, saying it doesn’t exist, and in fact “serves em right”; is not a socially enlightened attitude. Rivers I think, is living in a 60’s world. She should wake up and see that we are closing in on an era where her ideas and ideals are as quaint as Victorian ideas once were.

  6. I would bet money Caryl Rivers does not have children. If she does I would bet that she did not raise both boys and girls.

    If you want real experts on the subject go ask some parents with a few kids if they agree.

    Boys and girls most certainly learn differently. As a father I have done my own study for over a decade. My research has been daily for all those years (this research is also called parenting). There is your expertise.

    In fact go watch 5 boys sit quietly in a classroom for two hours and 5 girls sit quietly in a classroom for two hours and tell me you do not see a difference.

    1. That’s not really evidence. Just because your children may act in accordance with traditional gender types, doesn’t mean that they are innately programmed to do so. What River is examining here is not whether boys and girls act differently, but /why/ they act differently. Observing the differences between male and female classroom proves nothing, because it illustrates only the difference in behavior, not the reason for that behavior.

      Besides, the single example of your own children is hardly enough to disprove an entire generalized theory on the source of gender stereotypes.

  7. The vitriol towards this article is absurd and a sure sign of people’s insecurities – those that can’t bear hearing anything that challenges their fixed notions.

    The main takeaway point from River’s work is that the notion that boys and girls learn differently is an oversimplification and a generalization. There are girls who are interested in typical ‘boy’ activities more than some boys, and behave more aggressively, too. And, yes, upbringing does have an impact on the way boys and girls act and think. Anyone with half a brain should realise that such things are always a combination of nature and nurture.

    With regards to single-sex schools, you can certainly skew any data regarding the quality of these schools and their ‘special approaches’ for boys or girls through the student recruitment process. Accept only the best students and you’ll increase your likelihood of top results.

    Finally, education isn’t just about academics. Having gone to an all-boys school, I can testify to the things I missed out on. There was zero focus on socio-emotional development, probably because the school didn’t think boys needed that. All that led to was extreme competitiveness, an absence of collaboration, and a lot of aggression.

  8. Alright.. She calls the science behind girls and boys learning differently “really very bad”, which is ironic because this entire article is based on her (political) opinions rather than scientific facts.
    If you want to “debunk the myth” that girls and boys don’t learn differently, explain scientifically how their brains are the same.
    The problem is, you -won’t be able to-, because research and studies of MRI scans of male and female brain have shown them to be profoundly different.
    To name some differences, female brains contain more white matter connecting areas together which means they can make more abstract connections and multitask well, have verbal centers on both hemispheres of the brain (instead of just the left hemisphere in males), which enables them to have a wider vocabulary and better connect their senses and feelings to language, have a larger hippocampus and stronger neural connectors in the temporal lobes which create detailed memory storage, active listening skills and detailed understanding of speech and the sensory information in their environment. Male brains have more grey matter which means areas of their brains are more dedicated to specific tasks, and they use half the space female brains use for verbal-emotive functioning which provides more room for spacial-mechanical functioning. Males have less connectivity between their verbal centers and their memories or feelings which is why they have more trouble talking about senses and feelings at the same time. Female brains process more serotonin than males which makes them biochemically less impulsive than males–males also process less oxytocin, the bonding-relationship chemical which makes them less inclined to sit still for longer and makes them more physically aggressive. Of course, there is great variation between each gender, and we know women who are skilled in mathematical areas and men who are immensely verbal and abstract thinkers. The point isn’t what men and women can’t do, it’s just -how- they do it and how they learn that is different.
    There are so many differences that couldn’t possibly fit into a website comment, so if you’re interested in actually knowing the TRUTH about the best ways for girls and boys to learn, my advice is to read some articles about this topic that objectively tell you scientific differences without bringing ideologies and feminism into the mix.
    Obviously, gender stereotypes are bad and shouldn’t be applied to education. But simply understanding and working with the differences between male and female brains is totally mislabed when Caryl Rivers condemns it as stereotypical, and if she really wants society to close the achievement gap between men and women, then she should be interested in the best ways for girls and boys to learn effectively rather than complaining about sexism. If anyone has an “agenda” here, it’s her.

  9. Bravo!! I wanted to stand up and cheer because here was an 8-year old boy—past the age when boys start to shut down emotionally—who, hoping to maintain good relationships, wanted to talk about emotions. If this is an example of what’s possible, then I think we’re headed in the right direction.

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