Angels in Adoption
WASHINGTON, Sept. 27 — The awards dinner Thursday night was a special occasion for Carla Boudreau of Milford and Allyson Schaaf of Stratham. They were with their husbands in Washington to receive Angel in Adoption awards for their work in adopting children from Romania.
It reminded them of another special occasion.
Seven months ago, they met with Romanian Ambassador Sorin Ducaru to enlist his support in bringing the girls they had adopted, who had been barred by a new Romanian law from leaving the country, to New Hampshire. The day before had been his birthday, so they took him a present.
“Here is a rose from our daughters in Romania,” Schaaf said she told him, “wishing you a happy birthday.”
The following evening, the two were at a reception at the ambassador’s home. As they walked into the dining room, they said they noticed only one decoration at the front of the room: a vase holding two roses.
Schaaf said she tapped him on the shoulder and pointed to the roses. He picked up his hand and touched his heart.
A law enacted by the Romanian government in June 2004, prohibiting adoption of Romanian children by anyone outside of the country except grandparents, has so far barred Alexandra and Natasha, the girls adopted by Boudreau and Schaaf, respectively, from leaving Romania.
But the fight to bring them to New Hampshire has touched the hearts of everyone from Romanian executives, to Rep. Jeb Bradley, to President George Bush. Their encouragement and help, said the two women, has given them hope that one day they will bring their daughters home.
“Just like a pregnant mom bonds with her baby, we’ve already bonded with and love our daughters,” said Schaaf. “We will continue to work towards this until they come home.”
Schaaf’s first experience with the Romanian adoption system gave her reason to believe adopting Natasha would be easy. She took her first trip to Romania in 1999 to volunteer at an orphanage in Bucharest. The experience encouraged her and her husband Michael to adopt Iain, now 4. She said it was an easy adoption, and they had him within seven months.
Boudreau met Schaaf while working at a pharmaceutical company. Schaaf’s experience encouraged Boudreau and her husband, Todd, to try adoption. But the Carla and Todd’s adoption of Hunter, now 3, was more complicated.
Romania, in an effort to reform an adoption system that had become subject to child trafficking, placed a moratorium on all adoptions in 2002. The moratorium was part of a reform effort that Romania undertook in order to gain acceptance into the European Union. Hunter came home to New Hampshire two years after they adopted him.
According to U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services, since 2002, 5, 233 Romanian children have been adopted by families in the United States. There are more than 200 families waiting for children they have adopted from Romania.
Families like the Boudreaus and Schaafs, who adopted the girls prior to this year’s ban, are told there is still a chance they will be able to bring their children home.
Asked to talk about Hunter and Iain, the Boudreaus and the Schaafs immediately start laughing.
“You would think they were brothers,” said Schaaf, noting that not only did they look alike – brown hair, deep brown eyes, big smiles-but they love spending time together.
Schaaf said that often times, when she was on the phone with Boudreau, Iain would tug at shirt and say he needed to talk to Hunter.
The two women agreed that the joy the boys brought their families was a major reason they are not giving up on the girls.
“First and foremost, when we meet people from Romania, we (let) them know how thankful we are for the gifts they have given us,” said Boudreau.
The Boudreaus and the Schaafs and many who have worked with them on the cause, said it was important to work with Romania to spread the positive benefits of adoption.
“Romania needs people standing with them and not against them,” said Elaine MacEwen, executive director of the Nobody’s Children Foundation, a non-profit which provides assistance to children.
MacEwen and her husband have two sons from Romania, Jonathan, 13, and Matthew, 11.
Congressman Jeb Bradley, who the Boudreaus and the Schaafs said has been instrumental in gaining support for their cause, said he understood the difficult position the Romanian government was in.
Bradley, who nominated the two women for the award, said that the attitude they have maintained through the obstacles they have faced made them an easy choice. Each year, members of Congress can nominate two people from their state for the award, presented by the Congressional Coalition on Adoption Institute.
Each year, each member of Congress can nominate two people from his state for the award, which is presented by the Congressional Coalition on Adoption Institute.
“These are two incredibly strong people,” said Bradley. “They don’t get down.”
MacEwen agreed and said, “(Schaaf’s) an absolutely wonderful mother and under the greatest of negative circumstances, she has not given up,” said MacEwan. “And I see the same sense of determination in Carla.”
Determination is evident. As they flipped through the packets given out along with the awards, they didn’t look for their own names. They looked for names of other people who could help them.
When they get home on Monday, Schaaf will hold a press conference with MacEwen to discuss their 29 point plan for adoption. In November, they will hold a fundraiser at the Castleton in Windham.
“We’re just doing what any mom would do for their child,” said Boudreau.
