Embrace the conflict, turn it into chance.

By Yuna Yu, Account Supervisor

When the word “conflict” appears, what’s your instinctual thought? Is it people recklessly yelling at each other with twisted voices and faces? If so, then it seems like conflict has been stigmatized a little bit too much. 

“Conflict always arises when there are groups of people. always,” said Hornsey, the VP People of Operations in Google. Conflict is inevitable, it’s common, and it’s not necessarily evil. 

Instead of an explosion, it can be a spark. So why don’t we try to see the opportunities behind the conflict and learn how to embrace it?

Realize that conflicts can take place as a good form.

The first step to embrace the conflict is realizing its diversity. There are times when people argue madly about things, and there are times when people just simply express their different opinions and try to find a way to compromise. While emotional outbursts can hurt, serious discussions can bring fresh ideas and benefit both parties. 

Handle the conflicts that are worth handling. 

Conflicts need to take place with a proper frequency. It’s still necessary to prevent the redundant ones. Clarifying principles at the beginning helps to avoid unnecessary conflicts. Opening up with your bottom lines and pet peeves can help to form a more joyful long-term interaction with others. 

Value people’s courage to speak out during a conflict. 

Conflict represents the diversity of people’s opinions. It arises because people are willing to speak up for their point of view, even if it takes risks to be isolated. Plenty of psychological theories show that it’s pretty normal for people to compromise toward the majority opinion, so why don’t we value the courage to become the “different person”?

Improve communication skills throughout each conflict.

Communication skills matter when expressing different opinions. Would we have the same feeling between hearing “No, that’s a bad idea” and “Nice, but how about…”? 

Next time when having a different opinion, try to repeat others’ points, make sure you get it right, compliment his or her intelligence, and then say you have a different opinion to add, and finally illustrate your point. We can practice our communication skills every time when there’s a conflict, and we’ll see if the results come out better and better. 

Solve the problems behind the conflict for a better future outcome. 

Sometimes conflict arises not simply because of the issue itself. The reason can be people. It may be because someone smelled a sense of disrespectfulness and simply wants to get back. Understanding people’s intentions behind the conflict and digging into deeper reasons can be an intriguing process. We may be surprised to find out there is a long chain of misunderstanding and how one thing led to another. Use this chance to clear up the air so that conflicts can be fully turned to opportunities to build a more solid relationship.