Fiction
ANGELA HIMSEL
Used Merchandise
Marvin points to the glass display casc. Inside rest ancient seals made of
brown, orange, green and yellow stones and bearing a
p~nted
script.
"Belonging to Eliashib, son of Eshayahu" is the tfanslation. Ever
Victoria's teacher, Marvin explains, "In ancient times, the purpose of
placing a eal on a document was not to indicate sender but rather to
confirm that the contents were untouched. Which reminds me, did I ever
tell you about the Jewish woman who wasn't a virgin when she got mar–
ried so she put a plastic salami wrapper in her vagina to replace her hy–
men?" Marvin's eyes gleam wickcdly and Victoria wonders if she is being
paranoid by suspecting Marvin of making a jibe at her own untouched
status.
Hc continues, "The groom looked up his bride on their wedding
night to verify her. .. you know. The next day he tells his mother, not
only is she a virgin, she's stamped
kosher
by the rabbinate!" His singsong
voice fluctuates at the punch linc and Victoria decides Marvin has no
ulterior motive in relaying the joke other than to amuse, something he
does very well.
Victoria thinks Marvin is funny and loves the way he has managed to
relate authenticity, doubt and proof to sex, morals and traditions. These
are the subjects she has been preoccupied with for years now, which her
Christian fundamentalist family in Indiana doesn't understand and her
rabbi/teacher/everything-but-lover friend, Marvin, in Jerusalem, always
has.
Victoria feels she should offer some amusing anecdote as they wander
together through the Israel museum. "Your joke reminded me of my fa–
ther. He doesn't think any of us girls should date divorced men. He calls
them 'used merchandise'."
"Well," Marvin says contemplatively, "with men, you can never be
sure if they've been used or not. No place to put the salami wrapper."
Victoria laughs. "Mind you," she continues, " I haven't heard him say
a thing about buying second-hand cars or furniture. I guess he doesn't
mind sitting on a couch that other people have farted on."
Marvin, for
all
his wonderful qualities (he had extensive knowledge of
scarab rings and Aramaic script which Victoria had felt justified a romantic
involvement years before) doesn't find flatulence to have a mystical qual–
ity. Her fascination with farts and her insistence on remaining a virgin
