DORIS LESSING
21
stretching out their arms and I did not like it and I began to run away. I
had not run far when I felt a stinging in my buttocks and I fell down.
Then I knew I was being carried and I thought that after
all
They, my
friends, had put me in a trap. Though I could not move, I knew that the
new ones, not my friends handled me, cutting off bits of my hair with the
sharp stones, tying something tight around my head. Then over my face
was fitted a tight wet thing and I knew I was being killed. I could not
breathe . Yet I could not struggle but something kept me heavy and still.
Then I woke up completely. The new They, the ones I had not seen be–
fore, were walking off down into the trees. Then I saw that in the trees
was one of the great black birds and they were getting inside it. I began to
cry, like an infant, from fear. I woke completely because of my fear. I was
still stiff and sore. On the inside of my hand was a sore place which was
bleeding. The big black bird went up into the sky, and again its noise was
beating inside me and shook me and I felt I would die like my brother.
The Others, the ones I knew, came then, and sat around me. The Female
was stroking my head. Water was corning out of her eyes. Some children
rubbed my back. I felt very sick. I felt very sad. Now I knew They were
not my friends , not as I thought They were. And my brothers were not
my brothers, they would kill me if I went close to them. Besides, they
would have gone off with our Females somewhere far and I did not know
where they were.
Slowly I got strength and sat up and then I saw that around my leg
was a thing that fitted close to my flesh. Some of my hair was caught in it
and it itched. It was a smooth hard thing like the rope we take from in–
side the bark of a tree, but hard. I was trying to take it off and They were
talking to me and shaking Their heads. They were making the noises like
the infants make and I was making the same noises.
Water was falling from their eyes and water was falling from my eyes.
And all the time one or another stroked me or patted me. The Female
put her face into my fur and when she took it away my fur was wet.
I slowly got to my feet. I was weak and shaky. I slowly walked off
from them though my heart was crying for Them. I came back up here to
the cave. I am alone now. The sky is getting low and it is full of snow.
Soon the snow will lie thick. I hear myself making the sounds infants
make. I keep looking to see if my brothers are corning though I know
they will not come. I keep saying to myself that when they come I must
not do as I do when I am with Them - make my dung in a separate place
or go to the river when it is not frozen and put water on mysel£ I must
be like my brothers - but they will not come. And what can I do about
the hard tight thing around my leg? If my brothers saw it they would
kill
me, I know that. I am afraid of it. Sometimes it seems to me alive. I try to
take it off. I have tried a sharp stone and my teeth. I feel it is listening to
