DORIS LESSING
13
near our cave and saw I was not like Them but like my brothers, and I
thought we are so ugly, and I was sad to think that we are the same with
arms and legs and a head, the same size, but They have the long soft black
hair that shines falling from their heads and we have ugly reddish hair all
over.
Once when I had watched Them for a long time while They were all
digging with sticks in the earth I found I had walked out from the rocks
and stood where They could see me. They all stopped working, and
stood close together, the way I and my brothers do when there is danger
from a tiger or a bear. I stood there. I didn't go closer. I wanted Them to
know I would not harm them. They all stood there and then made Their
high bird calls and some made some shouts, and others came from their
huts and stood looking at me and making Their sounds. One threw a
stick at me, but then another held him, and They all shouted at the one
who threw the stick. I began to walk towards Them. I had to do this. I
felt I had to be with Them. I wanted Them. At first some moved back,
and one ran away, but others stood and looked and when I was a leap
away I stood still. I wondered if they wanted me as I wanted Them. Then
the Female I saw before without her coverings in the river took a piece of
food from her coverings and came forward holding out her hand with the
food held towards me. The others made sounds, like a wind moaning, but
she came forward little by little, a step and then a step, and I took the
food. I knew she wanted me to eat it. I did not know what it was. Not
fruit or animal but a soft tasteless thing. I ate it to the end because she
gave it to me. They all stood watching. All the time They were talking,
talking, not as we do, but a soft running talk up and down like birds
chattering. I did not want to go away. One of them started to run off
away from Them all down into the trees but then some went after him
and brought him back. He shouted and waved his arms and I could see he
wanted to hurt me. Then some of the others went back to their earth.
They were digging the way we do to get insects and roots and when I
saw this I took up a stick and began to do what They did. The noises
they made then were like the noises they sometimes made when one
speaks and They all listen. But I went on and the Female came and
showed me how to hold the sharp stick, and then another gave her a stick
that had a hard cold end to it and I used that and I worked there with
Them. Not too close to Them because I did not want Them to think I
would hurt Them. Then I saw the shadows corning dark and cold down
from the mountain and it would soon be dark. So I said Goodbye, but
knew They did not understand, and walked off back into the rocks and
came back up here. I told my brothers. They were angry. They were
afraid. They said I must not do this. They said that They would come
hunting us. They said the reason we were here in this mountain was be-
