DORIS LESSING
19
They went to a pool in the river and stood in the water and splashed
Themselves I was afraid, but I went too when They did and I tried to
make myself go right into the water, and even let myself lie on the water
as They do. But I could not. I stayed in the shallow water at the edge and
splashed and rubbed myself as They did. They pointed at me and made
the noise that means They are surprised and pleased. I know a lot of dif–
ferent kinds of voice now, both ours and Theirs, but I had never thought
of it before I was with Them. When They got out of the water They
dried the cold water off them with that covering They put on their
smooth shining skins, but my hair was cold and wet all morning and I got
a cough. The winds were cold that day.
I sat in a corner in the hut and could not go out, but coughed and my
head hurt. The Female I like came and gave me something to drink out
of the thing they use for drink, like a very big leaf curled, which is what
we use, but it was a hard cold thing like stone. She came several times,
and now her Male did not come and I saw how he was not afraid of me
now, or that I would hurt her.
They all came and rubbed my back and head. I liked it so much be–
cause I missed my brothers and how when we sleep or sit we are close
and put our arms around each other. Sometimes a child came and hung
around my neck and sat close and played with the hair on my arms and I
was pleased. Once I saw a Female stretch her neck out, and put her hair
on a log of wood, and then take the piece of thin stone, and cut off the
ends of her hair. She was going to throw the bits of black hair away but I
took it and tried to put it on my arms and on my head, thinking it might
grow there and be my hair. She made the noise like the Noisy Bird and
called the Others. And They were not angry but came to rub me and
stroke me. I could hear myself making the noises infants make. I felt my
eyes making the water that Their eyes make, when They are sad.
And then again, the same thing. I was afraid for my brothers. Though
I did not want to leave Them I did, and found my brothers and it was all
the same as before. They knew I had been with Them and did not like it
when I talked of them. But I saw there was something new. In the front
part of the cave there is a big place and they were filling it with food for
the winter. There was a honeycomb and fruits they had let dry and
branches of nuts. I realised it would soon be cold again, and I worked
with them gathering nuts and fruits . I wondered if they were pleased with
me because I had told them how the Others gathered food for the long
cold time but they had forgotten I had told them and now they thought it
was their own idea. When the place was full of food I said we should go
and tell our Females to collect food for the cold time, and they agreed,
though they did not want to like anything I said.
We were outside of our cave on the flat place there when ... but I
