DANIEL MOYANO
411
there was promise of a long life ahead. 1 often sought that occasion,
but it never came because the desire would have had to be mutual.
But 1 thought then, and 1 think now, that you were making your
own life and 1 had no right to interrupt it. The right moment comes
a little late, when 1 cannot even move or communicate. 1 should
really have liked to be able to return to our town with you one day
and tell everybody This is my son. There was a woman from Santa
Fe , the lead drummer's wife, who didn't believe 1 had a son who was
a colonel.
It
wasn't that she didn't believe, but she looked at me as if
mocking or doubting when 1 spoke of my son. Look , senora, this is
my son, I'd say, and she'd feel ashamed and hurry for a glass to serve
us a wine from the coast , and we'd drink and we'd all laugh. But
anyway this meeting fulfills all my desires because at last it brings
what 1 wanted so badly . Of course, it embarrasses me a little that my
situation may make you uncomfortable . I'm very old now and ac–
tually I don't know why 1 would need to be moved, 1 don't know
where I'd go. Besides , don't think I've given up. Luisito always talks
about a rehabilita tion center where they perform absolute miracles.
It's very possible that at the end of the year I'll try it out. Perhaps we
can still go back to La Rioja together someday and drink a toast with
that coastal wine you yourself like.
The head drummer's wife (Bermudez's wife, you may remem–
ber him , he was a showman in the parades) always used a doubtful
tone when 1 spoke about you. 1 went to their house Saturdays to eat
with them , and then we played cards. That night we had finished
eating and she was wiping the table with a damp rag so the cards
wouldn't be stained. 1 had been retired for several months and things
weren't going very well so they were always helping me in one way
or another. During the meal 1 had been talking about leaving La
Rioja to be nearer you (I don't remember if at the time you were in
Buenos Aires or Cordoba), and she doubted that too. She refused to
accept what 1 was saying, she treated me like an old man who doesn't
know what he's saying. 1 told her 1 had a letter from Margarita, in
which she let me know that if 1 wanted to, 1 could live with you. She
made one of her classic faces and asked to see the letter. I didn't have
it with me so 1 felt a little humiliated, as if there were no letter, but 1
told her I'd show it to her the next day. She went to the kitchen to get
the cards and from there said if the letter had been from you, it
would have meant something, but she put no faith in the letter from
Margarita. Then , raising my voice so she'd hear, a bit annoyed by
her attitude, I said if Margarita said something, it was because she
