AMOSOZ
197
And then, at the first traffic light as we entered Tel Aviv from
the north, you suddenly asked dejectedly: "Tell me something,
Brandstetter, do you ... really loathe me?"
Instead of replying, I asked you to stop the jeep after the traf–
fic light, and pull off the road. And without another word I drew
your head to my lips. As I had already done a thousand times in my
imagination. Then, maliciously, I burst out laughing and said that I
could see that you really did have to be taught everything from
scratch. Because apparently you'd never even managed to kiss . And
the time had come to show you which was the butt and which was
the trigger. That if you would just give the order, I'd put you on an
intensive training course.
And indeed I found you a virgin and clumsy. And stiff. You
didn't even manage to pronounce my name without stammering.
When I got undressed , you averted your gaze. At least six weeks
passed before you allowed me to leave the light on and look at your
naked body: slim, youthful, as if your uniform was part of your
flesh. You were very strong and timid, and my caresses seemed to
tickle you. They made you shudder. The hairs on the back of your
neck stood on end whenever I ran my hand up and down your back.
Every time I touched your manhood it was as though you got an
electric shock. Sometimes in the crux of pleasure I burst out
laughing, and you immediately recoiled.
And yet also the wildness of your desperate craving during our
first nights, your overwhelming desire, which could not be ex–
tinguished but would flare up anew almost as soon as it was
gratified. Your orgasms, which were wrenched out of you with a
piercing roar, like someone being shot with a hail of bullets. All this
set my senses in a whirl. I was unquenchable too.
Every morning, during office hours, my loins would melt at the
sight of your taut body in the uniform that you used to starch and
press ruthlessly.
If
my eyes happened on that spot that I tried so hard
not to look at, where the zip of your trousers met the buckle of your
military belt, my nipples stiffened. Our secret was kept for a fort–
night. Then dumbfounded gossip erupted among the secretaries and
typists .
Slowly our nights were enriched. How happy I was in my heart
of hearts about the experiments I had had before you. You were an
eager pupil, and I an enthusiastic teacher. Almost until dawn we
used to drink each other like a pair of vampires. Our backs were
