196
PARTISAN REVIEW
sweetie?" The girls started to snicker. They had giggles behind their
hands. And I gave as good as I got: "Should I wait for an order to
report, sir?"
Until once, one rainy winter night, you offered me a lift into
town . A thunderstorm accompanied the jeep along the coast road,
we were battered by sweeping rain, and you subjected me to the
ordeal of your icy silence . We drove for half an hour without ex–
changing two words, our eyes fixed hypnotically on the rhythmic
struggle of the windshield wipers against the deluge . Once, the jeep
skidded, traced a loop on the road, and without saying a word you
managed to regain control of the steering wheel. Twenty or thirty
kilometers later you suddenly said: "What's up? You suddenly been
struck dumb?" And for the first time I, imagined I caught a hint of
hesitation in your voice and was filled with childish glee. "Negative,
sir. I simply thought you were working out a plan for the conquest of
Baghdad in your head and I didn't want to disturb you."
"Conquest, sure, and how! But what's all this about Baghdad?
Is that your pet name?"
"Tell me something, Alex, while we're on the subject of con–
quests . Is it true what the girls say, that you've got a bit of a problem
in that department?"
You ignored my daring to call you by your first name. Looking
as though you were about to punch me in the face, you turned
toward me and hissed : "What problem?"
"You'd better keep your eyes on the road. I don't want to get
killed with you. Rumor has it in the platoon that you have a problem
with girls? That you've never had a girl friend? Or is it maybe just
because you're wedded to your tanks?"
"That's not a problem" - you chuckled in the darkness - "that's
the solution."
"Then it might interest you to know that the girls are of the
opinion that your solution is our problem. That what we ought to do
is pair you off with one of us who will volunteer to sacrifice herself
for the sake of the others."
In the half-light of the jeep as it tore through the curtains of
rain, by the beat of your foot on the accelerator, I could sense the
pallor spreading on your face. "What's going on here?" you asked,
struggling unsuccessfully to conceal from me the tremor in your
voice. "What is this, a panel discussion on the commanding officers'
sex life?"
