GIDEON TELPAZ
53
reading anymore. There was one more thing that I meant to ask her
about, now that she seemed unusually lucid, enough so to answer it
once and for all: what she knew about the thirteen dead men. But
before I could put it into words, she said, "Could I ask you something
now, Doctor?"
I looked at her.
"How long do you think I have?"
"I can't answer that, Muna."
"If
you think I fear the tru th - "
"I've no way of telling. That's the truth."
Her fingers stroked the edge of the sheet.
"Never mind. Knowing does little good, does it not?" Her lips
twisted into a crooked smile.
"It
truly doesn't matter if I die tomor–
row. I can live with that. It's the fear I can't live with. How can I
overcome this fear? I don't want to disgrace myself when my time
comes. That would be horrible."
Her last words stuck in her throat. Her nails dug into the sheet
in a fresh spasm of pain. I injected morphine and remained at her
bedside. She fell asleep and slept so deeply that she could not hear
the convoys moving northwards on the thoroughfare down below.
Nor could she hear the trains rushing ahead at full speed across the
desert. The occupied towns further south were being evacuated one
by one. We were next.
I had not seen Major Golan since the banquet. I was surprised
when he showed up in the morning; he had never taken the trouble
to visit the hospital before. He asked to see the patients, all of whom
were Arabs from our and nearby towns, and after we had passed
along the beds we went into my office.
"Well, my friend, I'm afraid the curtain is coming down." He
stuffed his pipe bowl with slow, deliberate motions. "I can't tell you
how rotten I feel. I can't give the order to lower our flag, it boils down
to that. But an order is an order. We must be out of here by tomor–
row morning."
"I don't have much to pack."
"You've done a spendidjob running this hospital." He gave me
an appreciative smile, as much as the pipe clutched between his lips
allowed. "It may please you to know that I have recommended you
for a special citation." He lit his pipe, slowly sucking on it. "By the
by," he added, glancing up. "You forgot to show me your prize pa–
tient. Muna, I believe her name is. How is she?"
"She is dying."
