LEONARD MICHAELS
547
"Tell me your joke, for God's sake ."
She told it. I laughed, then told mine . There was silence.
"You didn't like it?"
"Theoretically, I liked it."
"Can you like a joke theoretically?"
"You told it wrong is what I mean ."
"How should I tell it?"
As Bluma told me my joke, I looked out the office window at
the Berkeley hills where black-green ragged trees stood against the
glaring blue of a cloudless sky . In the north a hawk circled, looking
for a kill. It seemed to me there were no jokes and nothing funny in
nature.
The term was half over when, late one afternoon, I found Anna
Toiler waiting for me outside my office. "I must talk about dropping
the class," she said. I hurriedly opened the door, ushering her inside,
gesturing toward the chair Henry had sat in. The window was be–
hind her, a tall rectangle oflight. She wore a new suit, summery cot–
ton , lavender with a dull sheen. It had incipient vitality and sug–
gested a compromise with California. Her blouse had the dark green
solemnity of a rain forest and was open at the neck, as if negligently,
revealing a bra strap. The scratches on her neck were like spears of
thin red grass slanted this way and that by an uncertain wind . She
wasn't cured, apparently, only restrained in my company. She didn't
touch herself. I wondered what that cost her.
"You've missed a lot of work. Good idea, I suppose, to drop the
course."
"It isn't that I don't like your course."
"You needn't explain."
"It's these doctor's appointments. They can't seem to tell me
anything. All they do is give me different drugs."
"I see."
"What I'd like to know is whether I can take your course in–
dependently. I'll do the reading on my own and write a paper."
The window was slightly open and a breeze pressed the back of
her neck. A soft breeze, but steady. She began shivering. She'd set
her purse on the edge of the desk. Small, square, green purse with a
brass clasp that looked efficient. Her hands lay side by side in her
lap, more tense than composed. They braced her against the shiver-
mg.
"Aren't you uncomfortable? Move away from the window."
"I'm fine," she said, but the shivering continued.
