542
PARTISAN REVIEW
dark centers of her eyes, afloat in silvery blue circles, seemed fallen
from other eyes . Among her Nordic ancestors, there had been an
Asian .
"Stanton is a geologist and an engineer, but he's mainly in–
volved with management these days, which isn't what he studied in
college. He's just good at it and that's what the firm wants ."
I imagined a tall Stanton, then thought no . He wouldn't be so
accomplished. Average height. Maybe a little guy with a lust for
power. She'd chosen him as she had the black shoes, for strength,
principles, authority. But I knew absblutely nothing. My mind
swung around the periphery of concerft like my spoon in the coffee
cup .
"What about you?" I asked.
She gave me a quizzical frown . I didn't even know, I realized,
what I meant.
"Db
you have children?"
"I go to school."
"Of course."
"I have horses." Smiling now with lips together, showing no
teeth, she looked prissy. The horses, then, were special; delicious.
Her secret pride .
Walking back to campus she talked about how she loved to ride
in the hills after dinner. Once, she'd seen a bobcat. I hardly listened,
but I imagined her riding alone at twilight. The conversation , a
failure for me, was interesting to her. She might have thought I
found her attractive. She was attractive, but, except for her eyes and
tic, not unforgettable. She didn't pick or tear at herself when we talked,
but pushed with her knuckles occasionally at her nose. Like a boxer.
No sense of distinct, strong personality came through. Only polite
reserve . A willingness to state facts, to confess her pleasure in
horses. She had spiritual hands. The skirt, tight-fitting, showed the
line of her thigh, good athletic legs . In the sunlight, her pupils
shrank into dense black dots.
"I should tell you that l'll be missing some classes . I'm sorry. I
have to go to doctor's appointments . They're doing tests."
"Nothing serious, I hope."
"That's what the tests should discover. They think I might have
a tropical parasite. Nigerian fluke or something. We lived in Africa
for a year while Stanton worked for an oil company." She smiled
again in the prissy way, as if she'd exceeded herself by talking this
personally, but went on . "It's probably an allergy. All the new
