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PARTISAN REVIEW
works of the imagination of our time. That is put badly.- Better:
that there does not exist a continuity of imagination and action. The
19th century had by and large such a continuity . -Importance of
this. -When a man does begin to court the liberal-democratic ideal,
it is either a sign or the beginning of spiritual collapse in his work....
(1945)
A birthday- the 40th- incredible that it should have been the first
really happy one that I can remember! -inside and outside causes
-so much cleared away within-a charming party-the Browns,
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the Rahvs, Wm Phillips, Quentin Anderson, Philip Rice-every–
body quiet and nice- imagine Phil Rahv singing Happy Birth–
day-(an American folk expression now, a real one: When Wm Ph.
came in late he said seriously when he heard the occasion: But we
have to sing Happy Birthday.) -To have a birthday with friends
&
without family delightful- sad this should be- so happy I feared the
consequence of hubris!
(1945)
"Well," said my mother when I told her I wished to go to no
Thanksgiving dinner this year, "Well, I suppose that's all there is to
it- and I must accept. There are many things in my life that I don't
like that I must accept." And the unconscious meaning was so clearly
"In
nry
life" that I said sharply "Exactly the same as in my life"-
She seemed taken aback
&
agreed at once, "Yes, of course." Yet
I saw as never before the assumption in which I was reared- the as–
sumption that life lay with my mother (and father), that something,
not life, better than life, was for me. That pain, disaster, frustration
might touch them, but not me ...
(1946)
... I meant to write here a note that I had just got over a period of
abt.
6-8
weeks of insatiable desire for praise
&
notice- nothing satis–
fied and the more I got the more I wanted- grew by what it fed on–
I had to make conscious effort to check this
&
not allow it to be
publicly seen- I would
court
affirmation and flattery- also about
this time a period ofterdble sleeping, in which consciousness seemed
increased in sleep
&
nightly problems were presented to me which
had
to be solved- I could see-smell-feel the aura of philosophy- the
classroomy, textbooky aura of abstraction, terribly engaging, terri-
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Beatrice and Alan Brown.
