JOSEDONOSO
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office, who never gave up trying and was always asking her out and
making passes at her; he was respectful enough, but temptingly
persistent. Nobody who was all there could enjoy anything as color–
less, as substanceless as constant sleep . Well, anyway, next year
when he started school she would find out soon enough how intelli–
gent her son was .
At school, Sebastian was, if not brilliant, at least diligent.
Docile and quiet, he did what he was asked to do, but not so much
as to make himself conspicuous. He did everything in an impersonal
way, so that people would leave him alone and he wouldn't have to
associate with classmates or teachers.
He never went out with friends on holidays .
In
the afternoon,
when school was over, the other children, dusty and tired, would
stop to buy candy and make a little mischief before breaking up for
the day. But Sebastian went straight home, had tea, and did his
homework, thereby earning the right to do as he pleased. Then he
would lie down to sleep as if unwilling to waste another second.
Saturdays and Sundays he did the same thing. He slept from sunrise
to sunset, knowing his behavior and report card prevented Adela's
saying anything about it.
Adela sometimes went into his bedroom to watch her son
sleeping. There she was unnerved by her old fear-and by an even
more serious and disturbing element: respect. She sensed there was
something in his sleeping that eluded her, something too big or too
subtle to be caught in the small, rather limited net of her imagina–
tion . The most disturbing thing was that Sebastian always smiled in
his sleep- not the ordinary, reassuring smile of a child dreaming
about houses and cars and nice things, and feeling watched over by a
beautiful mommy and a powerful daddy. No. This was different.
It
was as if his spirit left his body to dwell in a wonderful world
hidden behind his eyelids. His whole being seemed to be there,
inside his sleep, leaving nothing outside to comfort his lonely,
watchful mother. There was an almost savage intensity about it,
giving the impression that Sebastian's dreaming was complete in
itself, powerfully closed, self-sufficient, needing none of the people
or the things of the world, including her. She was a shadow that
could easily be excluded from any pleasure. For Adela, to watch him
sleep was to intuit, cruelly and confusingly, everything she had
