HAROLD BRODKEY
41
comfon, one's anger, are shown respect by some lies that other people
tell us.
She says to me-in the afternoon light-"You're just a baby-
you have to do what I say-I can get you into trouble."
'
:.. 1
She can-she can make Momma and Daddy sigh and be tired of
me for a while.
,-
If Daddy and Momma start to talk to each other about Nonie,
they soon attack each other: "You babied her"
"
"You're a heartless mother"
"You don't care what happens to people-you're· the irrespon-
sible one in this house"
" You're selfish"
" You treat her like a doll"
"You don't know how to treat her"
"You admit it, you're accused out of your own mouth, oh
Charley, you don't even know how to argue"
It
is better for them to approve of Nonie; and anyway we're not
sure, that in this world, as things go, Nonie is really awful.
One thing , though, is clear: Daddy will not correct her: and he is
foot-stampingly not at fault: he is I-am-innocent. He willI sometimes
cry, he becomes helpless and grief-stricken
if
Nonie gets scurrilous
enough in her tantrums. (Thunder storms make her hysterical and she
accuses him and Momma of things she has overheard, she has learned
about: she wets herself and screams and writhes and says, "God will
kill you-he won't hurt
me ."
She yells at him, "Go ourside-Iet the
lightning get you-make it leave me alone .") Daddy has no middle
ground : he can only care about his home if it has no evil in it: he can
only care about people he believes to be innocent. If it seems there is
something malevolent in this house, something unpleasant, he gets
very upset . "I don't understand," he says despairingly, "I don ' t
understand. ' ,
Sometimes he will throw a tantrum then: he will stamp his foot–
and shout-so that the furniture slides a little bit-that it is the
school's fault or Momma's. "NONIE IS A GOOD GIRL!" He will
shout : "SOMEONE IS RUINING HER. " Then he subsides: he says,
"There's a pain in my chest-I can't breathe ."
He holds a hand to his chest : his eyes are stricken : it is frightening
