594
LEO E. LITWAK
put down as big talk was now reevaluated. I was to be accepted on
different terms.
Witty even became collegiate with me, spoke of campus life,
wanted to sing an old Ann Arbor tune. This hard-chinned Irish boy
was crammed to the brim with nostalgia. "Remember the old P-BelI
on Saturday nights, Artie?" He talked as if we owned a common
experience.
What a disappointment this moment I'd dreamed of in the PX.
The dream of a villain had owned my fantasies. My desperate con–
dition was remedied by something so trivial as a good word and a
slap on the back. We drank beer in the PX and Witty advertised me
as a credit to the battalion. He was no more adequate as a friend
than as a villain. I had allowed him to black my eye. I had been
numb in his presence. And now it was clear that he was only a fool.
"You got to pay for my eye," I told him. I interrupted him at
his mellowest. "It's after retreat. I'm ready."
He reached for my hand again. "Listen, old buddy, I'm really
and truly sorry about that. It was an accident."
"But there it is, Witty. An eye for an eye."
He told me that it had been accident. A lucky punch. "It was
more of a backhand than a punch. I didn't even hit you right."
I pushed Witty against the counter of the PX. The men circled
us. Someone yelled, "Break it up."
"Hey now," Witty said, "what gives?" But he didn't raise his
hands to protect himself. I hauled back my fist but couldn't hit.
"And who wants to get in trouble over
you?"
I asked.
He came after me, caught my arm. "I know you're sore," he
said. "You have every right to be. How can I convince you that I
really
am sorry?
Really."
And in front of the men we shook hands
again.
, He was a coward and a fool. Like myself.
I had squeezed a bloody stump and vanquished Joe Witty.
What achievement was that? Still, I didn't need to withdraw to the
music room. I had earned the right to follow my dreams into combat
and there confront the dying and wait for my own death to swoop
down on me, hoping that in the penultimate moment I'd come out of
shock and scream bloody murder.
I can't begin to tell you what a disappointment it was.
