590
LEO E. LITWAK
in this outfit." He excepted himself. He was also a foulup, a clumsy,
ill-educated loser, an obvious sucker for any malevolent noncom. He
was relieved to have another like himself. He saw my defects clearly
enough.
"You always knock," he told me.
"I'm not the only one to bitch."
But Kish told me that when I bitched the tone was wrong. "You
got a way of getting under a guy's skin."
"How?"
"Like the other night in the PX you're telling me about gas
engines. It turns out you don't even know how to drive."
"That's just high school physics."
"And speaking up for niggers."
"Why should we listen to Witty? He's no authority."
"He's no nigger-lover either."
Kish
had my interests at heart
and ticked off my faults and I was convinced. When I thought of
meeting Witty the following night I experienced that familiar retreat
of my blood to the sanctuary in my belly.
I hunted for Jason to tell him to get me into Headquarters. The
Headquarters gang was in the music room, playing the
Liebestod.
They weren't bigots and saved all traditions irrespective of race, creed
and nationality. They saved the Kraut, Wagner. They were also
interested in African art.
Jason was delighted with my decision. He dreamed of the day
when we'd have enough power to unmask ourselves and flail the
peasants. I was surprised at his venom. The idea of Dewey Carrol
particularly excited Jason. That frail boy was a precocious hater. His
voice became shrill, his body stiff when he thought of the beasts who
ranked above us. They should be groveling at our feet. He was only
twenty years old but knew already how to manipulate authority by
pretending to be obsequious. He despised officers and gentlemen. He
favored the black heroes of literature such as Iago. He called Lear a
gassy old man and praised the bastard Edmund.
Jason's father was a butcher by trade, a taciturn, abstracted man
who came alive in bursts of violence. He once accused Jason's sister
of being a whore and pursued her with a cleaver. She jumped from
the second floor window and shattered her ankles. That butcher didn't
