294
JAMES BALDWIN
face to Vivaldo for an instant. Then: "Whores!" he shouted
and began to laugh again.
"What's so funny?" Vivaldo asked quietly.
"If
you don't see it, I can't tell you," Rufus said. He had
stopped laughing, was very sober and still. "Everybody's on
the A train- you take it uptown, I take it downtown-it's
crazy." Then, again, he looked at Vivaldo with hatred. He said,
"Me and Leona-she's the greatest lay I ever had. Ain't nothing
we don't do."
"Crazy," said Vivaldo. He crushed out his cigarette on the
floor. He was beginning to be angry. At the same time he
wanted to laugh.
"But it ain't going to work," said Rufus. "It ain't going to
work." They heard the whistles on the river; he walked to the
window again. "I ought to get out of here. I better get out of
here."
"Well, then,
go.
Don't hang around, waiting-just
go."
"I'm
going
to go,' said Rufus. "I'm going to go. I just
want to see Leona one more time," He stared at Vivaldo. "I
just want to get laid-get b****- loved, one more time."
"You know," said Vivaldo, "I'm not really interested in
the details of your sex life."
Rufus smiled. "No? I though all you white boys had a big
thing about how us spooks was making out."
"Well," said Vivaldo, "I'm different."
"Yeah," said Rufus. "I can see that."
"I just want to be your friend," said Vivaldo. "That's
all.
But you don't want any friends, do you?"
"Yes, I do," said Rufus quickly. "Yes, I do." He paused;
then, slowly, with difficulty, "Don't mind me. I know you're
the only friend I've got left in the world, Vivaldo."
Then that's why you hate me, Vivaldo thought, feeling
still and helpless and sad.
