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times, and asked, "Where's the pill bottle?" and then when he saw
it, he began to laugh, and he said, "You idiot, you don't even know
how to kill yourself"-they were sedatives, not sleeping pills, and so
he took me to the can . . .
EITEL
starts to get up from the chair and leave the room, but
she catches him.
No, you listen to every last bit of this ... Collie made me throw up,
he stood there, he watched me like I was an old rag, and know what?
-it excited me. I was goofy with sedatives, and he had coffee brought
up and he slipped me a benzedrine, and had me walking around, and
all the while I was thinking of the way he had seen me throw up,
and that was exciting, Charley, weird isn't it-'cause I always thought
I liked my privacy, but it seems I didn't because I went to bed with
Collie--we had one on the house now that we were finished with
each other ... Well, I never told you this, but Collie was pretty
good, and I always used to act it was great with him, but of course
I used to act with all of them until the night I met you ...
At the look of disbelief on his face, she smiles cruelly.
--except that's a lie, you're right, Charley, because the night before
you with Collie I let go, I mean I really let go-I thought I was in
ether or something- what poison I was getting out of me, and the
funny thing was I couldn't have cared less about Collie, why we even
had a talk afterward and he decided he would see me for a night
every now and then- and he would poly me. Dig, Charley boy?
EITEL:
Are you done?
ELENA:
Can't you take it, friend?
EITEL:
I can take it.
ELENA:
I mean consider my delicate ladylike elegant feelings. I mean
this great jazz with Collie, and the moment he's done, he's got to
make it clear that whether I love him or hate him or don't feel a
thing, he still wants me to know that we are not together any more,
and so he tells me that tomorrow you are coming over, you, Charley,
my first John, my bathroom-Collie is setting me up in business–
you sons of bitches-and you know what?-I was fantastically excited,
I don't know
if
it was
YOll
or the situation or because I was finally
nothing but a whore, but it was crazy with you, Charley, it was all
the way out. And in the morning, the next day, when I began to
realize you didn't think of me as a call-girl, that Collie hadn't said
a word---oh, Charley, I was depressed and I was happy-you were
good to me and decent, and I got confused. I should have cleared
out because I wanted to be free and instead you were crowding me
