76
PARTISAN REVIEW
notion of the odds that was their problem. Despite the recrimina–
tions 1 dealt myself 1 could not find the compassion in my heart to
hurt them in the cause of honor. 1 abhorred what they represented,
had had too recent experience of their callousness and barbarity to
feel that 1 should make the wounding and loving gesture of telling
them the truth. 1 was not sorry to feel this way.
The evening of the sixth session 1 kept my students late. After
the last of them had driven off it was too late to go to the movies,
so 1 decided to have some beer. The post was stifling in the aridity
and dust that drifted across its shriveled, sterile bosom. At the bar–
racks, 1 chivvied one of the Personnel clerks into coming along, and
we drove the four miles to Willie's, a tiny bar, always either deserted
or overcrowded, in Brown's Mills, one of the pitiful excuses for hu–
man settlements that surround Fort Dix. Willie's air conditioning
had broken down, the bar was mobbed, and we made our way inch
by inch until we reached one of the ends of the horseshoe counter.
There we found ourselves directly beneath the television set on which
the Dodgers and Phillies were contending with each other and with
Willie's huge juke-box, an electric rifle machine, a mechanical shuffle–
board, with bongs and gongs and the clatter of tin score-plates, and
the usual din of barroom conversation. Popping with sweat, 1 took
off my jacket and put it between my knees.
We had just managed to order some beer when 1 noticed
Sgt. Niederweg standing on my right. We exchanged greetings for
the second time that evening, and 1 turned to my beer and the
Dodgers, swallowed the first glass too rapidly and squinted at the
blurred screen suspended directly above my head.
As
1 put down
my
glass the sergeant heaved his pear-shaped, pendulous frame against
me and, in the phrase memorialized by generations of the lonely or
desperate or bereaved, said, "Have one on me." 1 did, and then
another. 1 gave up trying to watch the ball game and peered aerO&'!
the bar at nothing. There was an empty phone booth to one side and
1 idly weighed the distracting value of calling my wife. 1 was about
to do so when Niederweg touched my elbow and said, "How d'ya
think I'm gonna do on it?"
"Why ask me now?"
"1 dunno. Well ... ya know ... it's only two more weeks
now. 1 mean, I've been learning a lot, and do ya
think
1 got much
of a chance?"
