22
PARTISAN REVIEW
as they had mutilated me. And when I learned that
th~
missionary
was to come, I knew what I was to do. That day like all the others,
the same blinding daylight that had been going on so long! Late
in the afternoon a guard was suddenly seen running along the edge
of the basin, and, a few minutes later, I was dragged to the House
of the Fetish and the door closed. One of them held me on the
ground in the dark, under threat of
his
cross-shaped sword and the
silence lasted for a long time until a strange sound filled the or–
dinarily pe"ceful town, voices that it took me some time to recognize
because they were speaking my language, but as soon as they rang
out the point of the sword was lowered toward my eyes, my guard
stared at me in silence. Then two voices came closer and I can still
hear them, one asking why that house was guarded and whether
they should break in the door, Lieutenant, the other said: 'No'
sharply, then added, after a moment, that an agreement had been
reached, that the town accepted a garrison of twenty men on con–
dition that they would camp outside the walls and respect the cus–
toms. The private laughed, 'They're knuckling under,' but the of–
ficer didn't know, for the first time in any case they were willing
to receive someone to take care of the children and that would be
the chaplain, later on they would see about the territory. The other
said they would cut off the chaplain's you know what if the soldiers
were not there. 'Oh, no!' the officer answered, 'In fact Father Beffort
will come before the garrison; he'll be here in two days.' That was
all I heard, motionless, lying under the sword, I was in pain, a wheel
of needles and knives was whirling in me. They were crazy, they
were crazy, they were allowing a hand to be laid on the city, on
their invincible power, on the true god, and the fellow who was to
come would not have his tongue cut out, he would show off his in–
solent goodness without paying for it, without enduring any offense.
The reign of evil would be postponed, there would be doubt again,
again time would be wasted dreaming of the impossible good, wear–
ing oneself out in fruitless efforts instead of hastening the realization
of the only possible kingdom and I looked at the sword threatening
me, 0 sole power to rule over the world! 0 power, and the city
gradually emptied of its sounds, the door finally opened, I remained
alone, burned and bitter, with the Fetish, and I swore to him to
save my new faith, my true masters, my despotic God, to betray
well, whatever it might cost me.
