20
PARTISAN REVIEW
I shall see it at least rise from the desert and sweep over the sky, a
cold golden vine that will hang from the dark zenith and from
which I can drink at length, moisten this black dried hole that no
muscle of live flexible flesh revives now, forget at last that day when
madness took away my tongue.
How hot it was, really hot, the salt was melting or so it seemed
to me, the air was corroding my eyes, and the Sorcerer came in with–
out his mask. Almost naked under grayish tatters, a new woman
followed him and her face, covered with a tattoo reproducing the
mask of the Fetish, expressed only an idol's ugly stupor. The only
thing alive about her was her thin flat body that flopped at the
foot of the god when the Sorcerer opened the door of the niche.
Then he went out without looking at me, the heat rose, I didn't stir,
the Fetish looked at me over that motionless body whose muscles
stirred gently and the woman's idol-face didn't change when I ap–
proached. Only her eyes enlarged as she stared at me, my feet touched
hers, the heat then began to shriek, and the idol, without a word,
still staring at me with her dilated eyes, gradually slipped onto her
back, slowly drew her legs up and raised them as she gently spread
her knees. But, immediately afterward,
gra,
the Sorcerer was lying
in wait for me, they all entered and tore me from the woman, beat
me dreadfully on the sinful place, what sin, . I'm laughing, where is
it and where is virtue, they clapped me against a wall, a hand of
steel gripped my jaws, another opened my mouth, pulled on my
tongue until it bled, was it I screaming with that bestial scream, a
cool cutting caress, yes cool at last, went over my tongue. When I
came to, I was alone in the night, glued to the wall, covered with
hardened blood, a gag of strange smelling dry grasses filled my
mouth, it had stopped bleeding, but it was vacant and in that ab–
sence the only living thing was a tormenting pain. I wanted to rise,
I fell back, happy, desperately happy to die at last, death too is cool
and its shadow hides no god.
I did not die, a new feeling of hatred stood up one day, at the
same time I did, walked toward the door of the niche, opened it,
closed it behind me, I hated my people, the Fetish was there and,
from the depths of the hole in which I was I did more than pray
to him, I believed in him and denied all I had believed up to then.
Hail! he was strength and power, he could be destroyed but not
