SEIZE THE DAY
423
"Oh please Dad" said Wilhelm, almost bringing his hands to-
gether in' a clasp.
'
"I'm sorry," said the doctor. "I really am. But I have set up a rule.
I've thought about it, I believe it is a good rule, and I don't want to
change it. You haven't acted wisely. What's the matter?"
"Everything. Just everything. What isn't? I did have a little, but
I haven't been very smart."
"You took some gamble? You lost it? Was it Tamkin? I told you,
Wilky, not to build on that Tamkin. Did you? I suspect-"
"Yes, Dad, I'm afraid I trusted him."
Dr. Adler surrendered his arm to the masseur who was using winter–
green oil.
"Trusted! And got taken?"
"I'm afraid I kind of ..." Wilhelm glanced at the masseur but
he was absorbed in his work. He probably did not listen to conversa–
tions. "I did. I might as well say it. I should have listened to you."
"Well, I won't remind you how often I warned you.
It
must be
very painful."
"Yes, Father, it is."
"I don't know how many times you have to be burned in order to
learn something. The same mistake, over and over."
"I couldn't agree with you more," said Wilhelm with a face of
despair. "You're so right, Father. It's the same mistake, and I get burned
again and again. I can't seem to . . . I'm stupid, Dad, I just can't
breathe. My chest is all up ... I feel choked. I just simply can't catch
my breath."
He stared at his father's nakedness. Gradually he became aware
that Dr. Adler was making an effort to keep his temper. He was on
the verge of an explosion. Wilhelm hung his face and said, "Nobody
likes bad luck, eh Dad?"
"So! It's bad luck, now. A minute ago it was stupidity."
"It is stupidity-it's some of both. It's true that I can't learn.
But 1-"
"I don't want to listen to the details," said his father. "And I want
you to understand that I'm too old to take on new burdens. I'm just too
old to do it. And people who will just wait for help--must
wait
for help.
They have got to stop waiting."
"It isn't all a question of money ... there are other things a father
can give to a son." He lifted up his gray eyes and his nostrils grew wide
with a look of suffering appeal that stirred his father even more deeply
against him.
He warningly said to him, "Look out, Wilky, you're tiring my pa–
tience very much."
"I try not to. But one word from you, just a word, would go a
long way. I've never asked you for very much. But you are not a kind
man, Father. You don't give the little bit I beg you for."
He recognized that his father was now furiously angry. Dr. Adler
started to say something, and then raised himself and gathered the sheet
over him as he did so. His mouth opened, wide, dark, twisted, and he
