212
PARTISAN
REVIEW
momentous, and it was. One might suppose that the feeling was not
lost on Sheila. For, necessarily, everything would change after this–
in one way or another, depending on what finally happened.
In a week when Sheila called, everything was more definite
and the mood quite gone. Gretchen was eager to inform her solicitous
friend that they had imagined the worst all too quickly; the truth
was much more simple. She reminded Sheila that this was the same
depression that occurred for her all the time, regularly, and that this
time it had lasted longer and must have affected her body. Sheila
of course could easily grant the power of mind and spirit over the
body and the material world. Then, in a silly giggle, Gretchen said,
"Yes, the lion has come." It was a happy invention indeed, and
made for some continuity with their old talks. Afterward Sheila
named the lion "Aum," but Gretchen could never remember where
the name came from-was it Rilke? or the theosophists? or perhaps
The Prophet.
Anyhow, the lion had an existence and became real-more than
any possible god-child, for Sheila. And, in fact, the lion was really
more Sheila's than Gretchen's. "How is Aum?" Sheila would ask
repeatedly, and she would really mean a question about the spiritual
life. Gretchen might say, "Oh, he's gone to St. Germain-des-Pres" or
would mention a dozen other modern places. She always kept him
far from home, however, but only because she couldn't account for
him otherwise. Sheila's version of Aum's adventures were more seri–
ous: she had him go to India, to the Adriatic where Duino was sup–
posed to be, to Egypt where he found a real ankh near the Cheops
ship. Sheila's Aum returned and made communications to Sheila in
the privacy of her room, near the window with the tree; and he
would climb down the tree when he left. Compared to Gretchen's
lion-the original, as it were-Aum was decidedly more spiritual and
intent on the higher, deeper life. One might expect that he would
take up residence at International House. There was no question
about his sex. Still, he was an earnest of their friendship.
Like many friendships, intense and significant, which, when
they stop meaning what they once meant, mean nothing at all,
Gretchen's friendship with Sheila became, with the turning of a
hair, ridiculous and insupportable.
