1004
PARTISAN REVIEW
"Would you?" said Edwin. "We must see what we can do about
it. "
Sven did not answer.
It
was nice to lie here in the sun and to
feel that one was being watched, admired. It was boring staying with
these Newmans. Richard, with his books had been bad enough at
home, but there it did not matter, if he did not choose to come out
swimming or skiing with the girls, he could be left behind. But here
there were no girls, no sports, only books and talking and talking. He
had hoped to watch the English girls bathing and to go dancing
with them; they were said to be prudish, but all the same he was
usually very irresistible. They would have run their hands through
his hair like Karen, who looked so pretty when her own hair blew
across her face and she smiled with those white teeth through the
salt spray; or they would have stroked his fine brown legs as Sigrid
when she buried them in sand and he brought his face close to her
firm white breasts showing through her costume; or perhaps even an
English girl more bold than the others would lie naked and soft under
him on the sand like little Lili who had licked the salt sweat from
his chest when he had done his part with her- different girls, but all
of them, all of them wanting him as he had a right to be wanted, so
handsome he felt that sometimes he almost wanted himself. But here
there were no girls only books and talking. He had hoped much of
Richard's sister, but she was only a child of sixteen and even so she
was taken up with some rubbish about religion. With Mrs. Newman,
too, he had thought he might have so much fun, after all she was not
so old as Mrs. Thomas, the American woman, who had taken him
out to cabarets and dances and given him presents last year when he
was only seventeen. It had been most pleasant and he had learned
from her so much that was useful. But this bitch treated him as
though he was a child, it made him so glad that now he could hurt
her. Even if Richard had made him his hero like Ekki Blomquist who
followed him around with admiring eyes, little Ekki whom he liked to
protect and pet and tease- but Richard thought only of his books.
No, it was only Mr. Newman who had been kind to him and who
admired him. He looked so gay and fine for forty-seven, he would
be very pleased if he could look so at that age. But all the same it was
very disturbing, it would not be pleasant if so kind a man should
behave stupidly, it would be necessary to be very polite and very
