HENRY H. ROTH
409
Mter mother's death, we all lived an uneasy truce. Father kept writ–
ing checks to defray Charles's latest handiwork - slashed tires, busted
school windows, and illegal sale of firecrackers.
I'd concealed my loneliness and excelled in school.
It
was a feat
which did not impress Charles or my father. I would end up teaching
philosophy in half-empty classrooms. Though appalled by my profession,
bther never severed relations with me.
Charles was never fortunate. He is a pain in the ass and many times
I've wished he'd journey further than Denver. But he is my brother, the
only witness and true companion of my childhood. He was kind and
protective of me. He is all I have of the past. I need him. Since father
knew nothing of Charles's recent troubles, I have posted the bill for the
defense lawyers who will fail my brother just as we all have.
Just after my eighteenth birthday Charles pushed open the bedroom
door,
flopped on my unmade bed and pulled out a joint. I shook my head
in
annoyance.
"Don't be so negative," Charles squinted at me.
"Right," I said disgustedly, "and get your shoes offmy pillow."
Charles was a chubby, spoiled-looking young man. Pimples criss-
crossed his wide forehead . He still looked like a rumpled teenager.
"You're not a bad kid after all," Charles admitted. "Still, pop doesn't
are much for you either."
"C'mon," I said nervously.
I couldn't wait for my last year of high school to end. By late summer
I'd
be in a college far away from my joyless home. And be free of
Charles's latest misdemeanors and having to bear father's new wife.
Unhappy and uncomfortable being alone, father had married six months
after
our mother's death.
Mabel was a tiny bewildered woman who spent most of her time out
of
the apartment shopping or serving on committees. Father had strongly
hinted Mabel was on the way out. We neither cared one way or the
ocher. Father was very disappointed in this wife who yessed him to death.
Father
demanded acquiescence, but enjoyed some zesty combat to attain
his
goals. Charles was not surprised by any of father's actions.
"First mom, then poor Mabel! See, pop writes people off easily. He's
afirst-class hit man. Out of sight, out of mind," he said bitterly.
I became uneasy.
"That's really taking it to the max, Charles."
Charles replied in a half whisper, "There's no room for love in him
or anywhere he lives."
When Charles began to sob, I turned away. Then he ran out of the
