136
PARTISAN REVIEW
"Who broke this? Where are all the bathmats? Is your sewing ma–
chine working? When did this happen? Did you see the stain on the
kitchen ceiling? Why is there a sponge on the piano?"
Old Mother says, "Don't always criticize me."
The Grouch says, ''I'm not criticizing you. I jttst want certain in–
formation. "
They often disagree about who is to blame: if he is hurt by her, it is
possible that she was harsh in what she said; but it is also possible that her
intentions were good and he was too sensitive in his reaction.
For instance, the Grouch may be unusually sensitive to the possibility
that a woman is ordering him around. But this is hard to decide, because
Old Mother is a woman who tends to order people around.
Old Mother is excited because she has a plan to improve her
German. She tells the Grouch she is going to listen to Advanced German
tapes while she is out driving in the car.
"That sounds depressing," says the Grouch.
The Grouch is cross about his own work when he comes home and
therefore cross with her. He snaps at her: "I can't do everything at
once."
She is offended and becomes angry. She demands an apology, want–
ing him to be sincere and affectionate.
He apologizes, but because he is still cross, he is not sincere and af–
fectionate.
She becomes angrier.
Now he complains: "When I'm upset, you get even more upset."
''I'm going to put on some music," says the Grouch.
Old Mother is immediately nervous.
"Put on something easy," she says.
"I know that whatever I put on, you won't like it," he says.
"Just don't put on Messiaen," she says. "I'm too tired for Messiaen."
The Grouch comes into the living room to apologize for what he
has said. Then he feels he must explain why he said it, though Old
Mother already knows. But as he explains at some length, what he says
makes him angry
all
over again, and he says one or two more things that
provoke her, and they begin arguing again.
Now and then Old Mother wonders just why she and the Grouch
have such trouble getting along. Perhaps, given her failures of tact, she
